03/22- Erm

I don't remember what I did today. I mean, I slept in pretty late after Ben came over last night. I took a nap. I wrote the questionnaire I'm going to be using for my World Music research paper, and managed to make myself workout. I mean, I didn't go to the gym. I had my own little night with the free weights, doing chest presses, curls, squats, and different workouts with what I had. It was difficult because I have 15 and 5 pound weights... I need 10 for my lateral raises, 20 for my curls, and 25 for the presses. It kinda was weird not using what I usually use, but it worked. I'm excited to get back to the gym and kick ass. It's funny how difficult squats with 30 pounds over your shoulders are after a week of minimal working out, especially when you're used to using 40 to 50 pounds. Blah. I need to get back to the gym. I've missed it. I'm so determined to look good by summer it's not even funny. I just wish I could make myself use that same level of motivation on my school work. Sigh. I keep waiting for the motivation to kick in but it hasn't yet and it's really, really stressing me out. I mean what if it never kicks in and I do horribly? I'm hoping it doesn't come to that... But I just can't find out what I need to do to feel motivated. It's scaring me. I've just got so much to worry about that it's getting me overloaded, from the job search to the 3 research papers I have to do. Bllaaaaahhh okay I'm going to bed before I freak out or something. G'night loves.

Love,
-Nolan