Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Respected Until Proven Otherwise - 3,296 Word Blog

I'm not really sure if I want to blog right now.

I might not blog tonight, and I feel like I should put up something remotely interesting.
Or it might not be.

You know how it is.
I put up random stuff that often is just me rambling about something or other, which is what's going on right now.

I really wish I could write artistically, beautifully, intelligently...
Truth is, I really can't.

I've always wanted to write something deep and thoughtful, then have someone quote me because they like what I said.

Ah well.
Perhaps some day.

Here's my blog for today.

I have no idea what I'll really be talking about.
As in, I don't have any idea how this will be structured.

As usual, I'll basically be rambling on until I run out of ideas.

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The title is obviously "Respectable Until Proven Otherwise".
I suppose I was thinking today (it hurt my brain), and I just realized that it bothers me when people judge other people.

I'm not saying I'm perfect.
I try not to judge.
Sometimes, it's simply an automatic response. People tend to judge someone based on first impressions.
That's why first impressions are so important. When you see someone for the first time, you'll, even if it's not on purpose, you'll categorize them in your head.
You stereotype.

Now, I need to explain something about stereotypes.
According to Dictionary.com, stereotype is defined as:
"A simplified and standardized conception or image invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group". 

I kind of want to talk about stereotypes for a little bit.
When someone hears "stereotype", it's generally is given a negative connotation.
In other words, "stereotype" is looked at as a bad thing.


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I believe that stereotyping has its place in society, but some people take it too far.

As humans, we're programmed to base our opinions on someone based on the first impression.
That's generally why parents always remind their kids to make good first impressions.
Job interviews, meeting her parents (more specifically, her DAD), meeting a professor, finding friends..
A first impression can make or break those relationships.
Now, I would think that most people stereotype, even if it's not on purpose.

This isn't always a terrible thing.
When I say emo kid, what image do you get in your head?

A stereotype for an emo kid could be straight black hair down over one eye, maybe with colored stripes in it, black clothes, skinny jeans, maybe some eye shadow, a My Chemical Romance slim-fit shirt, various bracelets, converse, etc.

That's what I see, at least.
That would be my image of a generic emo kid.

I don't think it's wrong to visually stereotype someone.
That is, you look at them, and mentally put them in a category with other people you have seen that dress the same way.
However, when you start to assume that they will behave in the stereotypical way for that social group, I think that's kind of offensive.

It's a first impression.
You see someone that dresses like a particular social group, and you put them in that group, based on appearance.
I don't think that's a wrong thing to do.

The reason stereotypes exist is because enough people have seen a group of people that look the same, so they have become a visually recognizable social group.

I'm going to use the emo kid example because it's fairly easy to explain.
Enough kids have dressed that way, and defined themselves as emo, that it's a well-known image to the word "emo".
I'm not saying all stereotypes are true, but stereotypes exist because that social group has a common look to them, or enough people in that group have behaved in a common way that they've been put into their own social "mold".

I don't think looking at someone and putting them into a social group based on their appearance before you meet them is a negative thing.

HOWEVER

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You should not stereotype their behavior.
You shouldn't decide that every person in that social group will behave the same way.

Everyone is different.

I do think that judging someone based off of the group you put them into is a bad thing.

The definition of judging that I'll be using is:
"To determine or declare after consideration or deliberation."
(Dictionary.com)

The only problem with this definition is that people often will draw conclusions before consideration or deliberation.

Like I said, I don't think it's wrong to put someone into a social mold based on your first impression of them.
However, when you start to draw conclusions from that mold, or you start to declare things about who they are, or where they've been, I think it becomes negative.

So, back to the emo kid example, if you saw someone dressed like that, you'd mentally categorize them as someone who dresses like an "emo" kid.

However, if you start to assume that they're always depressed, that they cut themselves, that they're antisocial, that they hate their lives, that they hate their parents, then I think that stereotyping becomes negative.

I really don't want to spend the time going into various stereotypes and the typical conclusions that people will draw from that stereotype.

Stereotyping definitely has its place in society.
As humans, we're programmed to love order.
We organize things.
Our brains function by putting things into categories that we can access when needed.

By categorizing people into separate groups, it makes it easier to look at the world around us.

I'm not saying one should make assumptions about someone's behavior based on that social group.
I later re-address this, so hang onto those questions and opinions.
Hear me out.

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But stereotypes need to be able to flex and change.

I'm having trouble finding a stereotype to explain how it has changed.
I guess I can try to use hipsters as an example.

Yes, I did google the origin of hipsters.
I wanted to see if I could find the differences between hipsters when they originated, and hipsters now.
I also used Wikipedia.
But don't hate on me.
I looked around, and I think I might be able to write my opinion based off of the internet (which ALWAYS tells the truth).

So today, if you say hipster, almost everyone will get an image in their head of what a hipster looks like.
Beanies, black rimmed glasses, scarf, tight tight pants, loafers, rides a fixed-gear bike. That type of image.
At least, that's what I see if I hear the word "hipster".

*NOTE*
That's a visual stereotype I hold.
I don't make conclusions about the person based on their appearance, I just visually put them into a category that already exists in my head.

Hipsters are counterculture. That's their job.
Their goal is to be against today's common culture.

*NOTE AGAIN*
I realize this sounds like I'm stereotyping the people themselves, but I'm not.
I'm looking at hipsters as a culture.
I realize that everyone in that subculture is different, and some people may dress that way just because they like it.
I don't think every hipster is the same.
But I do believe hipster as a subculture has a general goal of being drastically different than the "mainstream" culture

There are more points to talk about when it comes to culture, such as examples of countercultures, and analyzing their goals, but I'm just going to stick with saying that hipsters are a subculture in our world today.

Hipsters originated during the 40's, during the jazz era. They were people who listened to jazz, and split off from the common culture.

That's not really what hipsters are today.
They're much more different.
Fashion is different, music choice is certainly different, and the general message a hipster gives off is very different than before.

Hipsters changed.
Stereotypes change.

It's just a matter of how quickly they change.
People have to be able to understand that a stereotype is not set in stone.
Culture will change, subcultures will change.


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This is the part where I re-address the other thing that I was talking about.

I think there's a difference between visually stereotyping someone, mentally stereotyping someone, and judging someone.

I kind of already explained how I see stereotypes.
They certainly have their place in society.
It's hard not to stereotype someone based on appearance.
It's human nature! We like thinking we're right.
We like categorizing things.
We want to look at someone, guess what they're like, and put them into a category so you can look at them through those glasses.

Visually stereotyping someone is different than mentally stereotyping someone.
I'll explain what I think that means.

Keep in mind, this isn't technical terminology.
It's just the way that I prefer to categorize this.

Visually stereotyping is looking at someone and, based on their physical appearance, placing them into a category reserved for others that physically look like them.
You don't make any assumptions about their behavior.

I think that's okay, I think it's normal.

Mentally stereotyping is when you look at someone, assign them to a mental category, then you start assuming you will know how they will behave.
It's thinking you understand someone, thinking you already know what they think about various topics.
It's thinking someone has the same thought patterns as another person that you already have in that mental category.

I try not to mentally stereotype people.
I find it kind of offensive..

Most people want to be different than others.
Even if they work hard to adopt a different social group's appearance and values, they're still an individual.

I think everyone is guilty of mentally stereotyping, even if it's on accident.
It's hard not to do, but I definitely am trying my best to avoid it.
It just doesn't seem right to me.

Judging someone is completely different.
Judging is, like I said earlier, drawing a conclusion after careful consideration.

It seems that, most often, people will start to judge someone immediately after meeting them, or even before they meet them.
Some people will judge someone based on their physical appearance.

I think that's extremely obnoxious.
Like I keep saying..
We're all guilty of it.
Even if you aren't trying to judge someone, you may inadvertently judge them, on accident.
You might think that you're better than them for some reason.
Not in an unkind way, but like I keep saying.
It's human nature.
We like being better than others.

Everyone has judged someone, even if it was an accident.
Not necessarily in a way that you intended to be mean.

However, it's mostly a matter of if you realize you judge people and choose to do something about it, or if you simply judge people because you feel that they deserve it, that you have the power to do so.

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I think judging is wrong.
Nobody has the right to claim that they are better than someone else.

You can never be sure of what the other person has been through.
You have no idea how they mentally process information and situations.
You can't decide you are a better person to them, just because they have tattoos covering their arms.
You can't claim that they are a terrible person simply because they are outside the social norm.

The judging that I'm talking about is putting others down, or raising yourself above someone else based off of what you can see or know.
Some people think they're better than other people.
Some people feel better when they put other people down.

I suppose people can think like that.

I mean, it's a free world.
And I can't change your opinions.
I can't change the way you think.
You have a right to your own opinion.
And just because I don't understand your thought processes, I can't claim that I'm a better person.

I just..

I just find it strange that someone would put another human being down simply because they're different.
Going back to stereotyping, one could assume that, because a teenager has cuts and scars covering her arms, she might be an "emo" kid.
That she might want attention, that she just wants people to feel sorry for her.

Having been there, I know what it's like to be judged.

I know how people look at you once you say you've committed self-harm.
When you say you used to slit your wrists to feel the blood flow, to punish yourself.
When you say you would burn yourself with cigarettes, with heated knives to get the satisfaction of a simple scar.
That you mutilated your body to feel better about yourself.

I've been told by quite a few people that it was just a phase I was going through to get attention.
I've been told I was a fake.
I've been told I still am a fake.
I've been told that I need to just get over myself.

This kind of hits a personal note.
Being judged hurts.
Being told you're less than another human being is not a good feeling.
Someone telling you how you should think is painful.
Someone deciding you just aren't a person worth getting to know.
Someone reminding you what you've been through makes you less than a human.

I know that I've kind of switched from stereotyping to judging, but I believe they're connected.

To judge someone, to a certain point, you have to mentally stereotype them also.

I ..
I just think..
Well.
Life is too short to judge people.
You may never get the chance to speak to someone again.
Why give them something negative to think about?

Some people have better lives than others.
Some people are constantly happy.
Some people are constantly depressed.
Some people switch between them every hour.

We're all here aren't we?

You may think of someone in a particular way based on how they dress, what they say, what they've done.
Again, that's human nature.

But when you raise yourself above them..
When you claim they are a terrible person.
When you just decide that they are less than a human being, that you have the right to draw conclusions about their behavior, about their emotions, about what they've been through..
I think it is cruel.

So why can't we just make the best of it?
This is where logos and ethos kind of get blurred.

This argument is confusing.
It's hard to logically approach this.. But I'll try.

Judging someone benefits no one.
Nobody benefits from it.
What's the point?

You don't win a prize.
You don't get a high five.
You've hurt someone's feelings, you've made them upset.

Now.. Emotionally..
I just...
Don't understand the point of judging.
We're all here.
Seriously.

Nobody has the right to judge someone else.
No matter who you are.

If you don't like someone, suck it up!
If you don't like someone, DON'T just rub it in their face.
Hold it in.

If you can't say something nice, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.
Simple phrase. It's easy.
But for some reason, people don't bother listening to it..
If you keep a negative comment to yourself, you can avoid ruining someone's day.

We're all here.
Why apply so much effort into making someone unhappy..
When you can make them happy with almost no effort?

I'm kind of overloaded because of how much I've written today.
I'm finding that I kind of keep repeating myself.
But..
I don't know.
I'm passionate about it I guess.


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So, this is where my title really makes sense.

"Respected Until Proven Otherwise"

It's the attitude I hold when I meet people.
It's simple.

Respect another person.
Common courtesy.
Be nice to them, smile, hold the door open for them, say nice things to them..
It's easy.

If you respect someone else, odds are, they'll respect you back.

I just don't see the point in disrespecting someone, especially when you've just met them.

As a whole, I respect everyone I meet.
I don't mean to get on my high horse here..
I just think it's common courtesy..
I'm not trying to make myself seem so great.

I'm not great at all.

I have infinite flaws.
But I pride myself on being respectful to strangers.

People I don't know, I will simply talk to them like a normal person.

Just be nice to them.
If they look different, if they have visible scars, for God's sake DONT talk about them.
There are things that people don't simply want to talk about.

If they have piercings, tattoos, and crazy stuff, don't talk about them.
They're a normal person.

If they choose to alter their appearance in ANY way, it's THEIR choice. Not yours.

They're not changing themselves to make YOU happy.


They're doing something to make THEMSELVES happier.

This picture makes my heart feel all fuzzy.


















Honestly, I pierced my lip and ears because I've always enjoyed meeting adults.
I really do.

I have a firm handshake, I'm courteous.. I love meeting adults.
And with a pierced lip and a pierced ear, people will look at you differently.

And having piercings while meeting adults makes me happy.
I like surprising people.

I like seeing an adult's surprise when I look them in the eye, smile, give a firm handshake, and say "I'm pleased to meet you."

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I have no idea if this blog did anything for you.
Honestly, I just wrote it because I think it's interesting.

I'm passionate about it.

I've been judged before, and it feels terrible.

I don't want others to feel that pain.
I really don't.

Some people have gone through hell to be where they are today.
Some of those people are trying their hardest every day to avoid breaking out in tears.

I figure, if people are having a terrible day and they don't want to show it, they won't.
They'll smile, just like everyone else.

And when someone makes a snide remark..
If someone makes fun of them.
If they're treated unkindly, it could just be the last straw.

I have a little example!
After the past week, I've been really emotional.
I made myself smile in the mirror before I went off to class.
One day, I was so sure I could do this.
I was so sure I was going to make it.

I got to campus, and realized I had forgotten my iPod.
I started crying.
I know that's silly, but I have a very special connection to music.
And I look to music as an emotional release.
And if I can't have that release..
I'm not happy.

That kind of thing has happened with people too.
I remember a day kind of like that.
I was in class, and someone made a stupid remark about my scarf.
I really like that scarf..
And I was upset the rest of the day.
I cried a few times.

Pitiful, I know..
But I'm an emotional guy.
It bothers me when people hurt someone's feelings.


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I guess the little point of that was to explain that some people just don't need any more pain in their lives.
Even if it's just a stupid little remark..

People deserve better than that.
Things you say, especially negative remarks, will always be in someone's mind.
Even if you make it as a passing remark, they'll hear, and they'll remember it.

Judging people is just.. Even worse.
There's no excuse to judge someone.

None.

Just......
Be nice to people.
Please?


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That's my blog for the day.
Kinda long.

Covered stereotypes, judging, and then I started rambling about how everyone should be nice.

I hope some of you enjoyed this.
I hope more that someone will take this to heart.

Yeah..

Yup.

3,296 words.
Depending on the topic, I can go more.
But this is enough for this topic, for tonight.
Maybe I'll do more another time.
But I'm done for now.

Bye Bye (:


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*NOTE*
For my song list, I chose mostly songs from Maximum The Hormone.
I've been listening to them a lot recently.
If you're interested in a very unique sound, check them out.
It's Japanese Pop Metal.
Yes, Pop Metal.
Listen to it with an open mind.
It's not for everyone.
I absolutely adore it.
*/NOTE*


Top Five Songs of the Day
  1. Kuso Breakin Nou  Breakin Lily by Maximum the Hormone
  2. Koi No Mega Lover by Maximum the Hormone
  3. Chu Chu Lovely Muni Muni Mura Mura Purin Purin Boron Nurururerorero by Maximum the Hormone (LONG TITLE). 
  4. Holier Than Thou by Metallica
  5. Long Way Down by Haste The Day
Song Lyric of the Day

~Before you judge me take a look at you
Can't you find something better to do
Point the finger, slow to understand
Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand

It's not who you are it's who you know
Others lives are the basis of your own
Burn your bridges build them back with wealth
Judge not lest ye be judged yourself~

-Holier Than Thou by Metallica

Video Game of the Day

League of Legends




Youtube Video of the Day


This is Maximum the Hormone.
One of my FAVORITE screamers of ALL time.
Not to mention they have a woman drummer.. A pretty good one.
Who sings.
Helllll yeah.


Picture(s) of the Day








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