But oh well.
I'll do it anyway.
So today, I've decided to steal my friend Caleb's topic!
His most recent post was about how lots of us end up living for someone else, rather than ourselves.
I definitely have to agree with him!
I do the same thing.. I like to pretend I've moved pass that stage in my life, but I still do live for others rather than myself. I'm not sure why.... I'm just that sort of person.
As far as I can remember, I've lived for others. I never really had the willpower to live for myself.
I still don't really have much motivation to actually accomplish my own goals, because I don't see my own goals and dreams as worth chasing.
I guess I've always loved helping others get closer to their own dreams.
I don't live for me.
I can't find self-worth in anything besides others.
I place my own worth on others.
I look for acceptance, I look for approval in others.
To me, it seems more logical. I know that sounds weird, but it's just how I feel.
The thing is, I refuse to accept compliments, and I refuse to even once admit that I'm good at something (because I'm really not good at anything).
When I think I'm good at something, I get bothered because I feel self-righteous and prideful.
I just feel that way. I have weird thought processes. What can I say.
I've always based my own worth on others' opinions. Again, It's because it seems logical.
Just because I think I'm worth something, it doesn't make it true. My own opinion of my own self doesn't seem like it'd be fake. You know? It's hard to explain.
I base my own worth on what everyone else thinks of me.
I know it's considered a bad habit, but I just.. Well I don't want to change it.
I suppose it's a bad thing. In fact, living for others is the root of a few different issues that I struggle with.
Because I live for others, I have to be able to be a different friend for everybody.
I've gotten better at that, but it's a weird thing. I compartmentalize everything. Everything.
That compartmentalization messed me up and made it harder for me to actually pick out exactly what I wanted.
I'm still that way. No matter what, my goals come second. No matter who I'm talking to, what I'm doing, what they're going through, my goals come after their's.
Like Caleb says, it's good to find friends that you can hang onto, friends who love you for you.
The interesting thing is, I've made lots of friends by not being myself. By being who they want me to be.
I mean, I don't just tell them that. I hide it so it looks like I'm a better friend. The thing is....
I have a few friends that like me for who I am. Quirks and all.
Friends who will keep you for you are pretty amazing. Find them, keep them!
I've been encouraged by friends to not live my life to please others. It's something that I need to work on, but I like making others happy. Even if it makes me unhappy.
I'm the kind of person that will ignore his unhappiness if it means someone else will be happy.
I love making people smile. I really do. I'll do anything to make them smile. Anything, except for lying to them. I don't lie to others to make them happy. That's just.. Stupid. I don't do that.
But I do try my hardest to make others happy. I've been told that I will be happier if I can try and accomplish my own goals.
I don't know if I believe that. I don't really trust myself to make myself happy. It's more risky to me.
I'd rather spend my time making other people smile.
I guess... I don't know. Haha.
I just find it extremely weird that there are people out there who would accept me as I am, even when they know what I've been through, who I've been.
It's one of those things that bothers me because it's just plain illogical. To be friends with someone who is messed up, someone who hurts others, just isn't smart! And yet.. I still have friends.
It's so weird.
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So if you're like me, if you live for others...
Let's try and stop that.
Let's try together!
I mean, I'm going to start trying to live for myself. I don't like the idea, just hearing it makes me nervous.
But hey.. I'll give it a try. It might help, it might be worth it.
I might fail, but I won't gain anything if I never try anything.
I'm going to give it a try.
Maybe I'll learn to be happy on a regular basis.
If I learn to make myself happy by living for me, I'll be very surprised. I'm now interested.
I'm debating if it's really worth it. It probably isn't, but I might as well try, right?
Right!
Well... Yeah.
Give it a try everybody(:
Don't find your worth in others. They're not you.
Just because someone else doesn't like you, it doesn't mean you're not worth liking.
It just means you don't strike them as a person that they would get along with.
Not every single person will like you. It's true!
If you try to make every single person you know happy, it just won't end well for you.
I mean, I have a couple problems that have arisen from my compartmentalization, from my innate need to make someone else happy. I won't recommend doing that. Not a good idea.
But some of us do it automatically, we just feel that way.
It's not a bad thing! It's just... Well in the long run, it won't be beneficial to yourself, and it might hurt you.
You're worth so much more than you think. To someone, you're the most important person in the world.
To someone, you're what makes them happy.
To someone, you're the person they wake up to talk to.
To someone, you're their closest and best friend.
To someone, you're the only person that they can come to and talk with.
Many of us don't realize just how important we are.
Just because someone doesn't like you.. It doesn't mean everyone doesn't like you.
You're worth so much more than you even know.
So don't get down on yourself because someone thinks you're stupid.
Their opinion doesn't matter! Because they don't decide who you are.
You decide how much you're worth.
You decide who you are, nobody else.
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Yeah!
I guess that's really it..
Not much to say.
Sorry for the short post, but oh well.
What can I say? I'm lazy.
So in case you didn't earlier, read Caleb's post on this! His is more interesting and much more thought out(:
Sooo.. Done!
Yup.
Done.
Have a good rest of the day (:
-Nolan
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Top Five Songs of the Day
- American Idiot by Green Day
- The End of Heartache by Killswitch Engage
- Jordan by Buckethead
- Blind by Lifehouse
- Easier to Run by Linkin Park
Song Lyric of the Day
~It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past~
-Easier to Run by Linkin Park
Youtube Video of the Day
We watched this in my child psychology class.... Hahaha.
Picture(s) of the Day
Sarcastic Wonka has quickly become my favorite meme.
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