Heartbreak - How It Feels To Me

So today, I was kind of thinking about emotions.
All of them.

Literally, all of them.
And I figured, I think it would be an interesting challenge for me to try and describe how I feel emotions, and what they feel like to me.

So here's my first attempt at something like that.
This one only took about 30 minutes to write, so maybe I can start throwing these in every few days.
Read on!

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Heartbreak.

Heartbreak is the worst pain you can feel.
Feeling like half of your heart is missing, that you can't breathe without them.
They're constantly on your mind. They were always there before, they still are.
They leave you, and part of you wishes they could take your memories with them.
But part of you wants to hold onto those memories.
Even though it hurts, you love thinking about them.
It makes your heart ache, but you can remember every "I love you" that came from their lips.
You can perfectly picture their face, their expressions, their mannerisms.
You remember every time they called you "my dear" or "my love".
All the plans you made together, the future you had created.

You begin to wonder.. Was it even real? Did you ever mean anything to them?
You get upset. Worried. Confused. Part of you wishes it was all fake.
If they never actually loved you, then they never lied to you.
But the rest of you realizes...
They did love you. After everything you both went through, after everything they told you..
It couldn't have been fake. It was real. They loved you. They might still love you.
But along with that realization comes a painful question.

Why are they gone?
What did you do to hurt them?
Could you have helped?
Was it doomed from the start?
Why did they have to go?

Do they feel the pain you feel?
All the work, all the effort you put into just to smile.. Do they feel the same?
When you see them smile, is it real?
Do you ever cross their mind?
Do they remember all the times you shared?
When they think of you, do they cry like you do, when you think of them?
So many questions run through your head, but you know you'll never hear the answers.

Perhaps the most painful part of heartbreak is realizing someone else is giving them what you never could.
It's not fair. Someone else is holding them.
Someone else is kissing those lips you once kissed.
Someone else is sharing a special moment that you once shared.
All the work you put into making them smile, someone else does that without effort.

You can't get them out of your head.
Everything reminds you of what you've lost.
You can't think of them without thinking of who they're with.
The thought of them sharing the bed that you wanted to share makes your heart ache.
It feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest.
Everything hurts.
When they take over your thoughts, you feel completely comatose.
Empty.

But God help you..
You love them.
As much as you want to end the pain, you refuse to let them go.
You can't let go.
After everything you did.. Everything you planned.. Everything you said.. Everything you saw..

You can't let them go.
It's not fair to them.

You love them.
And you will always be there for them.

And you will always love them..
With all the little pieces of your heart.