A Day In the Life of Nolan: How I'm Feeling Today! Also, Mini Pep-Talk At The End!

Hmmmmmmm.
What to blog about...

What to blog about.....

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Not much has happened today so far.
Woke up, ate food, then headed to class.
Made it to class 10 minutes early.
Usually I'm 10 minutes late.

Winning!

I basically just did my biology lab and that was pretty much it..
Now I'm in Abnormal Psychology.
We're talking about PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).

If I was looking at this extremely objectively and... Not very intelligently, I could diagnose myself with it.
More accurately, I could self-diagnose myself with acute stress disorder.
I know I actually should not be diagnosed with it, I just am displaying most of the symptoms.
Interesting!

Self-diagnosing is... Interesting.
Some people take their own diagnoses as truth, which is not very intelligent.
Unless you're a qualified expert in the field, you shouldn't really assume you're correct.

So I know I'm not self-diagnosing myself.
I just think it's interesting that I'm displaying symptoms similar to symptoms in post-traumatic stress disorder.

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I wrote a song.
Finally..
It's on Facebook.
I don't really feel like putting it up here.
I just....
I don't know.
I had trouble even putting it on Facebook.
I'll probably delete it later.

I don't know how I feel right now.
I suppose I'm just extremely depressed.
Some stuff happened earlier this week that hit me really hard..
So I'm just currently feeling comatose.
I'm going through the motions that I do every day.
Doing this automatically.
I don't think about anything.
I'm just....

Comatose. That's the best way I can put it.
I'm having trouble remembering things.
I'm getting annoyed at extremely small things.
I'm getting upset over small things.
I'm scared of everything.
I just....

I just feel alone.
I know people say they're here for me, but I just don't really believe anyone right now.
I feel like everyone is lying to me, that people are telling me what I want to hear.
I don't feel like I trust anyone right now.
I don't want to deal with people.
I would gladly lock myself in a room with my drumset, music, and my laptop.
I'd block Facebook from myself.
Anyone else feel that way?
People are stupid.
Meh.
I'm just feeling like this right now.
I'll feel the same way tomorrow probably.
But I'll find something more interesting to talk about.

You know when you're extremely depressed, you remind yourself that you've been here before, and you made it out?
You can tell yourself that you'll be fine.
You constantly are telling yourself, "You're fine! You've made it through this before! You can do it again!"

But you can't even believe yourself.
No matter what anyone tells you, you feel like you're drowning.
You feel empty..
Just plain empty.

I'm sorry this is so depressing.
I just.....

I don't know.
I just feel this way.
I hate feeling this way, but it's comforting.
I'm not used to being happy. It scares me.
I almost feel better when I'm depressed because I know how it feels. Because I know how it affects me.
Most of the time, I'd rather be depressed than happy, just because I feel so out of place when I'm happy.
What can I say? I'm a weird person.

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Let's see.. Something less depressing..
I wish I had funny stories!

My life is all-around pretty boring, especially on Tuesday or Thursdays.
Yesterday, I started working out, but I got into some conversations with people that I had to deal with, so I stopped.
Tonight, I have to do my ab workout along with some free weights.
I use 5-8 pound weights for my arm workout.
It's less of a work out, actually.
I use it to build lean muscle.
I don't want ripped, bulging muscles.
I'm working on just slowly building lean muscle by doing lots and lots of reps with smaller weights.
The ab thing shouldn't be too bad.
It's like 2 times a week.

Meh.
I hope I can get myself to work out tonight.
Ohhhh well.
If you want to, text me and remind me to work out tonight.

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Ahh memebase makes me happy.
When I'm upset, I just start browsing the site, and it generally helps a little.
It's made me smile today (:
Which is good.

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When you have a friend that's depressed, don't make things worse.
I know that seems kind of obvious, but people still do it.
Not necessarily on purpose, but still.
If you want to be there for them, you have to ask what will make things worse, and what things will make them feel better.
I love getting ice cream with friends. It cheers me up.
Until I realize that I had ice cream. Then I feel fat.
But I think the positive outweighs the negative.

I love my friends.
A majority of them know how to help me, and they know what makes things worse.

I guess...
If you have a friend who's depressed, just be there for them!
If they want time alone, if they don't want to talk to you, don't take it personally.
Maybe they're just fed up with people for the day.
So don't just give up on them.. That hurts them more than anything else.

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Some of you out there might need to see this..
So I'll say this stuff to you, and maybe it'll help with whatever you're going through (:

You're not alone.. You feel like you are.
You feel like no one cares.
But people do.
People really do care about you.
I promise you that.
You just gotta work through your thoughts, think about stuff, and look around.
I know you'll find someone who cares about you, and they'll be here for you when no one else is.

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You can make it out of this situation.
It's tough.
It hurts.
You don't want to keep going, you want to give up.
Things look easier if you could just give up.
But you don't have to give up.
Hang in there.
Everything looks shitty right now. Everything looks like it's stacked up against you.
That may be true. The odds may be against you.
But that doesn't mean you have to give up!
You can do this!
I promise you..
You have to want it.
Find your motivation, find your goal, and stick to it (:

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You're beautiful.
You're amazing.
People may not see it.
But you are.
You may feel down on yourself, you may think no one wants you, but someone does.
You aren't ugly.
Okay?
You aren't!
You feel like you are.. You don't feel like you're attractive to anyone.
Looking in the mirror hurts.. Doesn't it?
You don't like what you see, and you would kill to change... something about yourself.
But you don't have to.
You're beautiful just the way you are (:
(I was saying that before Bruno Mars was).

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Dude...
This sucks, doesn't it?
You don't wanna go through this.
Girls are confusing as hell.
Aren't they?
You don't feel like you did anything right.
Maybe you're wondering why she's not yours.
Why she's someone else's.
Don't get yourself down!
You may love her, you may want her.
But the truth is, you can't make her come back.
All you can do is wait.
I know that sucks.
You don't want to just wait.
Guys DO things. We don't just sit around.
But... You can't do something every time.
Your options are small.
You don't have many things you can do.
But.. Hang in there.
Just wait.
She might come around, she might not.
Maybe you don't like where you are in life.
You got time.
You can think about it.
Don't change everything over night.. Cause you can't.
We're tough.
We're rough.
Come on guys.. We can do this.
You can do this.

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Ah.. Girls...
He's dumb.
Maybe he moved on without you.
Maybe he lied to you.
Maybe he cheated on you.
Maybe he hurt you, then ditched you.
I don't know what he did.
But he did it.
You can't change that..
You just can't.
But you can still hang in there.
I say "hang in there" a lot, but it's good advice.
You don't want to hear it, I know. I'm sorry.
But... It'll be worth it in the long run.
He hurt you? Forget him.
He's not worth your time.
Guys are stupid! We are. Believe me. I would know (I'm kind of a guy.. Just saying).
But don't let him ruin the way you look at men.
Not every single guy is an asshole like that other one.
We nice guys are out there.
We are!
You just....
You just have to be patient.
It hurts to wait for someone..
But look around.
Date people, but don't dive head in and devote your entire self into a relationship.
That's not smart.
Keep an open mind.. Look around, find out what you like, what you don't like..
There's a guy out there for you (:

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I'm not sure why I did that little pep talk thing.
I dunno.
I guess it's just......
I like helping people..
And I suppose, sometimes, there are just things that people need to hear to make them feel better.

So I hope that made someone's day (:
I hope I made you smile.

I wasn't just saying those.. I meant them. 100%.
So good luck everybody..
Hang in there!

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Here's a couple posts that you might enjoy:

She Deserves Your Best

Hang In There. You Can Do This.

Being A Nice Guy Sucks.. But It Will Pay Off

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Remember.. If you liked this, share it with some friends!
It just takes a couple clicks at the bottom of the screen.. Click the little Facebook icon, then share it to your wall!
Thanks for reading, everybody.

Have a good day (:

-Nolan

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