What did I do?
Did I go trick-or-treat-ing?
Get drunk with friends?
Dress up as a slutty nurse and hit on guys?
Watch a bunch of scary movies?
Nope.
This was my night!
Aaron came over, we (he) made a bunch of queso, bought some chips, and sat in my basement watching movies // tv shows on Netflix, playing video games, watching music videos, and discussing what we'd do if we won the $32 million lottery.
It was a pretty awesome night. I had lots of fun.
It was.. Basically what we do every Wednesday night, but it was special, because it was Halloween!
So we made something Halloween-appropriate, like... Queso... Yeah..
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
Let's see.. What else happened today.
It was a Wednesday, so let's see.
I ended up staying home for my first class, because I woke up achy, sore, upset, and a general feeling of sickness. So I slept an extra hour or two, then went to my Literature class, which was good.
I like my professor, and it's a pretty easy class with a relaxed atmosphere, so I'm okay with showing up feeling like shit, because I know it won't be a bad class.
Nerd Time will be short because I'm tired, and I need to be in bed soon, because I have therapy at 11 today.
I completed my first playthrough with my Cleric on Dark Souls today. 20 hours or so, and that's with some farming in there to level and buy stuff.
Really fun!
I've made a new character though today, and named him Mantheon. I'm going with the unofficial-internet-challenge to complete the game while never wearing armor.
It'll be fun.
I'm having fun with Dark Souls, and I think I'll be playing it for a while.
Anyway. Being up at 11.
Counseling?
Therapy? I'm not sure what to call it.
I see my psychologist and we talk about life.
So.. Counseling, I suppose.
Whatever it is, I see him at 11.
I'm.. Not too excited. I don't know why. I just.. Don't want to talk to anyone.
I'm not in the mood to sit back and evaluate my life and what I've been feeling, how I've been thinking, and.. I just don't want to talk about my thoughts.
In the last 3 days, I've gotten maybe 5 texts from friends.
The reason this bothers me is because it seems like, for 95% of my friends, I'm always the one that starts the conversation.
Not many people take time out of their day to talk to me first and ask me how I'm feeling.
There are people I try to talk to, and they just seem distant.
That's a majority of the people I know right now. Everyone seems so far away. Like I'm getting pushed out from peoples' lives. It's not a good feeling.
It bothers me.
But like I said, it's not for all of my friends.
A large portion of them are that way though.
There are also friends that I'd like to talk to, but I've found out that talking to them makes me think about the things that are going on in their lives, which.. Makes me very sad.
They've changed so much that I feel almost shunned when I talk to them, because they're so different, but I wasn't able to at least see them change.
Overall, I don't feel loved by many of my friends anymore.
I don't like this feeling. At all.
Completely off-topic, but I've found I'm extremely good at swallowing my pride.
I think it's because I generally live to please others, which kind of overrides my need to feel in control.
So I'm good at lowering myself to fix things with friends, because I don't really see myself as higher or better than anyone.
Self-analyzing of the day.
Let's see..
Today, I listened to this song again because one of my friends posted it!
Awesome song.
Makes me think of things past.
Memories that are the epitome of the word "bittersweet".
But nonetheless, a really really awesome song.
And an awesome movie.
Alright, I should go to bed.
Counseling at 11, then a test that I'm really not excited for at 12:30.
Sigh.
I want to sleep because I'm tired of being awake, but I'm really not excited for whatever the day holds.
I'd rather stay at this time for a while longer.
I... I don't know.
It's a Thursday.
Which means tomorrow is Friday.
Which is the weekend.
Ah!
Cooper comes home this weekend! I need to get ready to go see him!
I'm excited for that.
But I didn't keep up with my own self-promise, and I'm way out of shape and overweight. I need to do something about that. Hmph.
Hopefully I get up the motivation.
Alright, now I really need to go to sleep.
Overall, today was really good.
Spent a fun evening with a wonderful friend.
I don't know what I'd do without Aaron.
I'm going to try and go to sleep thinking positively.
Just keep on moving forward.
Not much else one can do.
The darker it gets during the night, the more you'll appreciate it when the light shines on you.
-Nolan
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