Thursday, December 29, 2011

Favorite Videogame Protagonists

Today, I'll be tackling random video game protagonists that I like. 

They aren't listed by how much of a favorite they are.
They're listed in a very specific fashion.

How fast I could name my favorites off the top of my head.

I won't be analyzing their role in the overall plot of the game, and I won't discuss their choices, morality, or any other fanboy type stuff. I'll just be mentioning what I like.

I love all of these characters.
Or find them absolutely delicious.
Or fabulous.

Or truly, truly outrageous.

Hold onto your hats.
Or shoes.
Or other items of clothing.

Keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times.

Do not leave the blog until we've had time to track your IP, set up a phishing page, and hack into your computer.

Thank you!

--------------------

Prince of Persia (Any of the games, but the most recent is my favorite)

I love this character. With a passion.
And plus, it doesn't hurt that the voice actor is Nolan North.
We have the same first name.
We're practically related.

The prince is a boss.
The older Prince of Persia games had a very different type of character.
The prince was a brooding, pampered, and all-around obnoxious man.
I mean seriously.
He was a spoiled brat that happened to find magic weaponry, and gain the ability to mess with time.

Which kind of confused me.


If he died, how would he be able to rewind time?
If he was already dead, what would happen?
Would he be messing with time from another dimension?
Yeah.

The females of each game were much more entertaining.
They were the witty and fun characters (some of the time) that I, personally, loved seeing. 

But the Prince in the newest game was completely different.
He was hilarious.
He was an experienced grave robbing parkour ninja.
And he made funny comments.
He got suckered into following the "boob interest" of the game, so he was kind of reluctant to fulfill his role as.. savior of the world.
He made humorous comments, and lightened the mood more than the past princes.
My favorite comment is, "I could have had carpets this thick. THIS THICK!!

--------------------

Samus Aran (Every Metroid game ever. Since the beginning of time)

What a badass. I mean really.
When the first Metroid game came out, it took a bit of time to realize Samus was a girl.
Until you gained the ability to play through the game as Samus in a revealing 8 bit bikini. 
Bow chicka wow wow.
Early fan service.

She's definitely one of my favorite heroines. 
I'd inject her any day.

HAH.
Sex joke.
And a drug joke.
2 birds with another bird.


But seriously folks.
She's pretty much one of the most badass female characters ever.
Doesn't talk too much, but wanders around.
Hunting everything.
In a (sexy?) powered space suit.

I've seen a few awesome cross sections of the cannon on her arm, which is just awesome.

And I think our government should spend millions of dollars on turning into a little ball.
Then dropping bombs.
Everywhere.

--------------------

Chris Redfield (Resident Evil)




What a hunk.
Look at them muscles, bulging underneath that extremely tight shirt.

And good!
He has knee pads.
For all the kneeling.. In the Resident Evil games.
>.>
<.<

He isn't a really funny character...
But that's okay.
He's still awesome.

I mean, if you fully upgrade a Skorpion smg in Resident Evil 5,
He gets to carry around a gatling gun.
With a massive belt box on his back.
And he can still front-flip out windows.
Like a boss.

I mean, he's completely ripped.
And he's too manly to simply push a massive boulder into the lava.

He punches it.
Into the lava.
At the end, you have a quick time event.
Spam the X button to push the boulder.
It doesn't really work, so it tells you to mash X..
To punch it.

He's so manly, he punches a boulder so hard..
It slides into the lava.

Yeah.
He's a boss.

--------------------


Isaac Clarke (Dead Space franchise)


Personally, I think Clarke is one of the biggest badasses around.
Take the first Dead Space.

He's an engineer.
Not a super hero.
He's a simple engineer.
He boards this massive wrecked ship to carry out a routine procedure and fix the damn thing.

Then, everyone gets murdered and stabbed right in front of him.
He books it out of the room, and finds a plasma cutter.

Then he murders every single space zombie on the ship.
And discovers a crazy stone that makes zombies.


And then you find out that his woman got turned into one.

Next game.
Wakes up in an asylum.
Sees the guy in front of him get turned into a zombie.
What's he do?

Kicks ass while he's in a straitjacket.
Duh.

Oh, also, he has PTSD.
Bad.

But he still manages to curb stomp EVERYTHING.
And he (me) tends to get murdered by every single damn zombie on the ship.

--------------------

Altair (Assassin's Creed)


Why WOULDN'T he be on this list.

He's awesome.

He can save the past and future.. er.. future.

But can't swim.

............

Aside from that.

Parkour assassinating ninja sonuvabitch.

I've never understood the leap of faith type deal.
I mean, jumping off the 19 story church and landing in a pile of hay about 3 feet tall...

Maybe he's just a badass.

He's another brooding type character, but still quite epic.

And cutting off your ring finger in order to get a hidden knife to jab people with?
I'd do it.

Totally worth it.
Definitely make Black Friday shopping much easier.

--------------------

Sam Fisher (Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell games)



What's better than a superspy assassin?

A retired, crotchety, angry, old superspy assassin.

What a man.

He pretty much stays a ninja.

His whole life.

He's also a fairly funny character.

It's a very dry sense of humor in some cases.

But I still think he's awesome.

And humorous.



Half the ninja type stuff he does is just plain nuts.
Sliding down cables,
sliding down ladders,
sliding down poles, (insert sex joke ?)

I'm a fan of random take downs.
Like falling down 3 stories right on top of someone.
Then running like a bitch until you find a random box to hide on top of.
After you shoot out all the lights.

Bet he's good at avoiding commitment.
(Yeah that was my only joke. I didn't know what to say. I apologize).

-------------------- 

Frank West (Dead Rising)




Frank West.
Definition of manly.

Nothing says "epic" quite like a middle aged man running around in kid's clothing, a teddy bear head, carrying a miniature chainsaw and lopping the heads off of zombies.

He's definitely one of the manliest characters of all time.

It's time to take pictures of this nice little mall!

Oh.
and.
ZOMBIE HORDE.
MILITARY PERSONNEL.
CRAZY CULTISTS.

You all know what that means.
..
..
Dress up in a dress, high heels, and a fancy hat, and take pictures of ALL the things!

And somehow, a group of escaped convicts managed to drive a military grade jeep with a mounted caseless machine gun.
So you take them out like a man.
With a baseball bat.

Dead Rising had the best unlockables.
Running around with a Megaman arm cannon dressed in wrestling spandex pretty much was amazing.

Yeah.
Frank.
He's pretty much the best type of.. anything repellent.

-------------------- 

Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil)





Hot.
Hot hot hot.
Whatta babe.

He is quite attractive.

He's pretty much amazing.
Like Chris, he's able to flip out a window.
And he also carries a massive attache case that contains a large amount of weaponry.
And it's all magically hidden.
The power of the inventory.
Is strong with this one.

The two most patient characters in video game history.

Link, and Leon.

Leon gets the full-bodied version of Navi in Resident Evil 4.
Her name is Ashley.

She's hot.
But..

Geez.
Her voice.

It's like Navi, but she talks EVERY 5 SECONDS.

The worse part about Ashley is that you have to repeatedly make sure she's safe.
Every time a mob of not-zombies runs at you, you get to toss her into a trash bin.
But she ends up being pulled out of there anyway.

Resident Evil 4 becomes more entertaining after you unlock the fancy suits.
Leon gets this badass mafia outfit, with a tipped fedora and everything.
And Ashley gets a full suit of armor.
She can't take damage, and anyone who tries to pick her up faceplants.
Bahaha.

Leon.
Kennedy.
Gets the bitches.

-------------------- 




Master Chief (Halo)




Again.
One of the best characters ever.

Instantly recognizable, and pretty much is a complete badass.

Epic powered suit that gives awesome abilities,
and also is trained in the art of AWESOME.

And he can kill and stuff.

He's also got a sense of humor, but it's pretty dry.
He says funny stuff, but it's more often a one-liner that you won't notice at first.
Until you think about it, then you'll laugh.


He's definitely a character that everyone will know.

I don't have much to say about him because if you know about him you basically know all that I know.

That made no sense.
But I could care less.

He's awesome.

-------------------- 

Bayonetta (Bayonetta)


Bam.
If you've played the game, you know how awesome she is.

The game is purposely made to be batshit crazy.
Over-the-top action and sexuality make the game fun and funny.

It's one of the few games that reward the player for doing terribly.

Essentially, her clothing is made up of her hair that's being magically kept in place.
The more you get hit, the more her hair... falls apart.
>:D

bahaha.
But seriously.

She's hilarious.

She's really cocky, which fits the game.
And the ability to fire pistols from your hands and feet means she's..
Ambidextrous?
And flexible.

Her super attacks compose of her hair becoming a crazy demon, with the hair conveniently covering her..
Body.

She's awesome like that.

--------------------

Yeaup!

There ya go.
10 of my favorite video game protagonists.

One of these days I'll just do my top ten favorite video games.

This was entertaining to write.
It made me think about all these games.

I think I'll go play a few.

Good night!


--------------------


Top Five Songs of the Day



  1. Scream For My Ice Cream by Blood on the Dance Floor
  2. Holiday In My Head by Smashmouth
  3. Billie's Bounce by Buddy Rich
  4. Waking the Demon by Bullet For My Valentine
  5. Perfect Two by Auburn
Video Game of the Day

Resident Evil 5

Picture of the Day




No comments: