1/31- Today was a day.

I had a decent day today, I did. I promise.
I will talk about it sometime soon.

But I need to be away from any sort of social interaction right now.
I'm sorry.

Good night.

-Nolan

1/30- It's mah birthdayyyyyyyyy!

Happy birthday Nolan!
I'm now officially 20.

No longer a teen.
Weird.

My day has been decent!
Class was.. Class.

Mom got me a new sweatshirt and some new pants! They look very good.
I like them!

Then Ben came over!
We've played Call of Duty and watched a few Nicholas Cage movies, because he's.. The Cage.
Ya know.

Oh! Geoff gave me $20 on Steam last weekend.
So I used it on The Witcher 2.
I liked the first one, which was only decent.
This one is fantastic!

It's fixed a lot of the problems the first had.

Well, I have my first speech tomorrow.
It's about 2 minutes long though, so it's not like it's a problem.
Hopefully it'll be easy.

Well.. That's it for now.
I'm excited for Friday!
Hanging out with people and such.

I've been successful at keeping myself from getting lost in thought.
So as long as I can do that, I'll be okay.

G'night!

-Nolan

1/29- Hmm what else.

Today was alright!
Class was.. Lame.
It was class.

Yech.

Then I went out and got coffee with Jessi!
We went to Algier's and had some hookah, and it was great.
It was.. Something coconut flavored.
Very good.

Then.. Yeah. That's my day.

I'll talk to you later!

-Nolan

1/28- Today wasn't half bad..

It really wasn't.
Today was not that bad of a day.
I expected it to be bad, just because it was a Monday, and because my days haven't been that good.

But it was alright.
I got a short 15-minute workout from Mike. It's the Tom Hardy workout.
I woke up at 9:45, and actually did the workout, then left for class.

I'm proud of myself for doing that!
I really am.

Just have to remind myself it's a short workout, designed to be done maybe 4 times a day.

So I'm going to do one after I blog, before bed.

Class was.. Class.
I got to have class with my friend Lucy! We met in a psych class last 2 semesters ago, and we're good friends.
Finally, I found someone I know in one of my classes!
Now I don't have to sit alone!

Yay!

I came home and watched a couple movies. What did I watch.. Um..
I watched The Muppets, then Mulan 2.
Great movies!

I was in a Disney-esque mood today.

Then I basically hung out and played some Street Fighter with friends, from 8 to about 5 minutes ago.
It was fun!
I love those guys. They're all hilarious.

Oh! I got 5 copies of Dota 2 for free.. I guess if you own it, you get 5 free copies.
So I gave some out to a couple friends, so we have another game to play together.

I'm excited for Friday. I hope people will come.
Going to see a movie (haven't decided) then go to dinner (haven't decided) then just come over and chill at my house for a while.

What we do at my house will completely depend on who comes.
If we don't get gamers, we'll watch more movies.
If we get gamers...

Woo! Gamer time!

Either way, I'm excited. I love hanging out with my friends.

I'm starting to think, and thinking doesn't end well.
So!
I'm going to finish this blog, do my workout, take a long, hot shower, then.. Play some more games!
I don't have class until 12:30, so I can go to sleep by 3 and I'll be fine.
Yay!

I went back to those couple blogs that had the google images linked to them, and deleted the pictures.
I'm tired of getting unneeded views from people just browsing pictures.
If someone wants to read my blog.. I want it to be for something I've said.
Not just the picture I have in it.

-Nolan

1/27- Movie Night!

Today, I basically spent the entire day waiting for Bethany to come over.
At around 6, she came over, and we went to King Sooper's.
Our plan was to buy some ice cream, candy, and watch movies.

We got to the ice cream section, and there already was a group of girls basically doing the same thing..
Bethany had her sweats, and I was wearing my Pillsbury Doughboy pajama pants.
We discussed with the other girls that Saturday was ice cream night. And they were all jealous of my pants.

I haven't worn these pajama pants in... A long time.
But I think I'm okay with wearing them.
They're pretty comfy.

So we watched a few movies, and she went home around 10.

I'm also determined to try and work out more.
I talked to Mike, and he gave me a 20-minute work out that I could do a couple times a day.

I'm going to try and wake myself up fast enough to do it tomorrow morning.

Uh.. That's it for now.

Good night.

-Nolan

1/26- An unexpected journey! Also, humours .gifs.

Yes, I did go see the Hobbit again today.
It was just as good the second time!

I went and saw it with Geoff // Geoff's family // Geoff's brother // Geoff's brother's friends.
It was his brother's birthday, and he invited me along.
We went to Red Robin, then the movie.

It was fun!

We had a good time discussing how the plot works within the Lord of the Rings universe, the acting, and various stuff that not many people talk about after a movie.

Then I went home and played some Street Fighter with Dane and Daniel Carter (one of the guys I met from Reddit. Also, that sounded very sketch and vaguely sexual. Not like that. We play video games. Completely platonic).

And now I'm blogging, and listening to some music.

It was a decent day.
It's just the time like right now that really sucks.

So I'm trying to keep myself busy.
Maybe browse some Netflix, play some sort of game.

Here's my day in a nutshell.

Seems to be happening more and more lately. Emotional days and such. 

Just gotta keep pushing on and finding various stuff to think about.

Ah well.

Tomorrow, I do some homework.

Also, I'm going to post some funny .gifs, because they make me giggle.

I have maybe 2 or 300 bookmarked, so here are some ones that I like.

Alright, the Blogger Dashboard is starting to lag.

I'm off to bed.

Night!

-Nolan

1/25- It's Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiidayyyyy!

Hooray!
I made it through my first week of classes.

I like them all, and they all are classes that I can see myself working through.

Today, I went to class and came home.

I find it interesting..
I can define "a good night" as one that I spend watching stuff on Netflix, playing Call of Duty, "hanging out" with friends online on Street Fighter, and just relaxing in front of my computer.

Sure, I'm a gamer.
And a decent amount of people would say I'm just boring, and pretty pathetic.
But that's okay.

I'm relaxed, it keeps me busy, and it prevents me from constantly worrying or being upset.

Ooh!
There's an animated version of the game Dante's Inferno on Netflix.
They take the game and condense the gameplay and story into about 2 hours.

I liked the game, and I'm digging the movie so far.

Adios!

-Nolan

1/24- Not my brightest moment..

Today!
Today was..

It was a day.

That's about the biggest thing I accomplished today.

I felt special.

Let's see...
I woke up, and Aaron dropped by to pick up his controller.

Then I went to class!

Went to the wrong one at first, then went to the correct one.

Went to classes... Came home.

Today was not necessarily a good day.
It really wasn't.

Oh well.

Next week, I'll hopefully be seeing a movie with some friends, getting dinner, then coming home to hang out with them.

I could use some company.

Oh hey, it's Friday.
Woo!

First week down.

-Nolan

1/23- I successfully held off the feels for a few hours!

Well, today was fairly decent!

Classes.. Were classes. Nothing new there.

I wasn't having a very good day.
Emotions, crying, and whatnot.

So I invited Ben over!

"Ben. I'm having feels. Girl's night in?"
"YES. I too have feels."

So he came over at 8ish, and stayed until about 10 minutes ago.

While he was here, I ended up buying Black Ops! Because he has it.
So we played zombies.

And online.
We pretty much kicked ass. It's an awesome game!
I've missed it.

However..
It has a very small community compared to what it once was.
So I looked at what it would cost to get the DLC's that people play on.

It'd basically be buying it all over again.
Great game, but I regret buying it.
I could have gotten Modern Warfare 3, with a bigger community and a lot more players.
I'd get Black Ops 2 to play with Lizzi, but she has it on the 360.
And I don't have live.

So I might end up buying Modern Warfare 3 sometime soon.
I'm pretty pissed that I bought something I regret.

Oh well!
Money.
I'll get more.

I had a bad night last night.
For the first time in a while, I woke up crying and called out for someone to hold me.
It was weird.
I remember who I called. Obviously I'm not going to get into it.
But safe to say, it wasn't a good way to wake up.

I'm going to go do some reading for class tomorrow, then go to bed.

-Nolan

1/22- Classes have started! I now kind of have a life!

Well, classes this semester started the exact same way that they did for the last 3 semesters.

Meaning..

I went to class on a Tuesday, but went to my first Monday class, freaked out, went to the other building, then realized it was Tuesday and not a Monday, then realized I was on campus approximately 2 hours early.

However, I like my classes so far.

And I have a decent study schedule planned out for each day.

And.. Well, I don't think that girl that I have a crush on is actually interested in me.
We talked a bit over break, and I asked her if she wanted to get lunch some time.
She said she'd think about it.

So.. I mean, it's not like I got straight up denied or anything.
I just realized that she wasn't as excited to see me as I was for her.

So I'm going to try and take Bethany's advice, and be happy being single.

I don't know how I'll do it.
I always need someone to.. I need someone to pay attention to!
I need to make someone feel special.

And being single... I don't get to treat any one person in such a grand way.
It's going to be weird.

I already have lots of emotional connections right now.
A few are stronger than the others.

While I can't always have the person I want, I need to learn to step back and let them make moves, instead of just me.

I really, really don't know what I'm going to be doing.
But after a couple conversations with a friend, and another with.. Another person, I've decided that I need to stop being someone that needs to be babysat.

If a couple of my friends had been thinking of me that way, then I don't know how many others do.
I'm not going to do anything crazy or drastic, but I need to be someone better this semester.
Maybe I won't lose any more friends that way.
Maybe I'll be more independent at the start of the summer.

Or,

Maybe I'll just end up eating chocolate, crying, and watching romantic movies.

Or both!

Anyway.

I don't want to talk about any of that anymore.

I need to do something to stay occupied right now.
I don't want to be thinking.

Therefore,

Video games.

So I've been playing Dan in Street Fighter a lot recently.
He's the joke character.
But he's actually decent in this game!

And a majority of playing him is also in the presentation.

I mean this as in.. Taunt ALL the time!
After a knockdown, run backwards, taunt.
They throw a fireball? Jump over it, mid-air taunt.
There's an awkward moment where they're not doing anything?

Repeatedly shoryuken towards them, then when they move towards you, jump over their head and grab them.

Then taunt.
Repeat.

I've played some online games with him, without any intent to win.
Just to mess around, just to have fun.

I loved it.

I'm going to learn some combos, then play online a bit.

Just gotta keep busy.
Avoid thinking about.. People.

I'm going to be a hermit.

-Nolan

1/21- Oh hey.. 9 days and I'm 20.

Weird.

Just looked at the date.
I'm going to be 20 in 9 days.

Awkward.

Today, I went and hung out with Aaron!
I've missed him so much!
We hung out and talked a bit, then played some Orcs Must Die! 2.
That was fun!

Then I picked up my books for the semester.
Hooray!

Money.

Then.. Sat around.
Watched some Netflix!

Played some Street Fighter with Shaun and a couple people.
It was really really fun!

Hmm.

That's.. It for now.
Not really feeling the blogging right now.

Ah! Class starts tomorrow!

Woohoo!

-Nolan

1/20- I (kind of) watched a horror movie!

Today, Jessi came over and we watched The Uninvited.
Which, I just looked up, is a remake of the Korean movie "A Tale of Two Sisters."

Interesting.
I remember reading the plot to that movie and being absolutely horrified.

But it wasn't as bad as I thought.
And the plot was good!
So was the premise.

The entire movie and plot can be summarized like this:

"Selective perception, selective memory."

It's a very fascinating story.
I really liked it!

One of these days, we're going to watch The Chernobyl Diaries.
She said it was terrifying.

But she said that we're going to watch it during the day, which I'm fine with.
So hopefully that'll happen one of these days.

Yay for expanding my movie list!
Lizzi was the first one to get me to watch anything remotely creepy.
With... Quarantine. Then we started The Grudge.... 3? I'm not sure.
Never finished that one.

Huh.

So now I'm playing some Street Fighter IV with both Shaun and Dane!
I have infected two people to play fighting games with me!

Excellent!

I really need to stop looking at how many page views I get.

They're all from those two damn Google Images.

I have no one reading anything important whatsoever.

It's starting to bother me.

Maybe one day, people will read my blogs because they want to read about one day.

BUT TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY!

-Nolan

1/19- I won another game on Steam!

Bwahaha it's true.

Last night, I entered a giveaway with a ton of different games.
And I won "Spec Ops: The Line."

It's a new 2K game, and it's... Intense.

Interestingly enough, it's a modern-day 3rd-person military shooter, with a fantastic story.

I mean, a majority of the reviews all said the gameplay was iffy. I mean, it's fun, but nothing super-amazing.
But the story is apparently really really good.

I've put maybe two hours into it, and I love it so far.
A widely-accepted truth is that the game is.. I'm not sure how to describe it.

You end up investing your emotions into it, because it's a gritty game, both in premise, and in the way it's presented.
You play the game, and it makes you feel guilty for killing.
Weird, right?

Generally when you play a shooter game, it's run in and shoot everyone.
Then you get an achievement for it!

However..
So, I'm a fan of stealth games, right? Splinter Cell, Hitman, Thief, etc etc.

So naturally when I'm playing a game, if I come across two guards talking, I let them talk!
Because there's a chance that they could split up and make it easier.

I walked up behind them, and they started talking.

He asked for a piece of gum.
They made fun of one of their friends.
They commented on how beautiful the scenery was.
They talked about the towns where they grew up.
Then they talked about how it was so fulfilling to fight for a cause their family believed in.

THEN they just open fire on you if you get too close!
I felt horrible for just shooting them down!

Which I'm fascinated by.
It takes a lot for a video game to truly humanize any character, but if they're humanizing every single person that you shoot in a military campaign?
That's intense.

And the story gets better the farther you go.
So I'm excited.

Also! I have an interview at Chipotle on Monday!
I will kill for this job.
I'm going to nail this interview.
I need a job.

I need money!
Well, I want money!

And since my birthday is coming up, I'm going to save up and by MW3, because I want an online shooter.
Well, I've said that at least 50 times in my past few blogs.

Uh..
So Shaun picked up Dustforce for Ian and I a while back, and it's fun.
I never got the hang of the controls, until today..

I hooked up my arcade stick and I'm using that!
Basically, any 2D game that I can use my arcade stick on, I'm using it.
Street Fighter makes your hand stretch and press buttons in weird fashions, so the more familiar I am with the controller, the better I'll be (in theory).

Hm.
That's basically my day..

So I'm going to go play Castle Crashers.

After I shower.


Brethren before wenches!

-Nolan

1/18- Hookah again! Also, pretty cars.

Today has been.. Decent.
Not bad!

Which is nice.
Not super-fantastic-awesome-yippee-woohoo fun, but pretty good.

I'm trying to think back to everything I did today.
I pretty much did nothing, come to think of it.

I mean, I tried to play some video games online, but our internet was on the fritz so it was lagging hard, which kind of made it impossible.

So I sat around ,looked for some jobs, played some Resident Evil, read a bit, listened to music..
Pretty much a lot of that!

Then dad and I went to see "The Last Stand."

Again, total guy movie.
Guns, cars...

Explosions..

Guns..

Cars.....

Plot- oh wait, just more cars.

And guns.

Well, the plot isn't actually too bad. It was okay.

But you watched it for the whole purpose of seeing AHNOLD kick ass, and Johnny Knoxville... Be Johnny Knoxville.

The car of the movie was the Corvette ZR1.

Gorgeous.
Now, I'm not a major muscle car guy, as you know, but.. Damn. That thing was gorgeous.
Sounded amazing.

I had multiple ear-gasms just listening to it rev and shift.

There was this part where AHNOLD and the evil villain were basically trying to find each other in a cornfield, with the villain in the ZR1 and AHNOLD in a 2012 Camaro.

And ALL I could imagine was them walking in the tall grass..

A WILD AHNOLD HAS APPEARED!
Ahnold used TAKEDOWN.
Villain whited out..

Something like that.

And now, I'm at Narghile Nights again.

I like it here.
Only, the window is open because it's crowded, but it's cold at the same time.

It's completely packed, but I got a spot!

Winning!

So I'm going to go smoke my.. Juicy Fruit, and listen to music.
Because I remembered my headphones this time.

Later!

-Nolan

1/17- Actually looking through my blog stats has made me less confused...

So for the longest time..

Well actually, even now, this blog post is always my top-viewed post of the day.

Why?

I figured out that this picture in it,

Is apparently the best picture that people look at while googling "Small ear gauges."

So basically, no one really cares about what the post was about.

Just the picture.

So I looked through the various statistics that the Blogger thing gives, and pretty much no one reads the blogs that I actually want people to read.

Going to be honest, it's kind of disheartening.

All my blog views come from stupid image searches, no one really reads anything important.

Oh well.
Such is life.

ANYWAY.

Today!

Wasn't too bad!
The second half was great.

I woke up at approximately.. A time or so, and I sat around getting the motivation to go out and apply to a couple jobs.

I did that!
Well, I got an application for a desk job at CSU, so I'm going to turn that in tomorrow.
Along with a couple more.

Then I was lazy...

Then I went to Brittany's around 6:45 or so!

It was so much fun.
We originally were going to smoke hookah, but when we packed the bowl and tried to smoke it....

Dear god.
It was SO strong that we gagged.
Just inhaling from the hose was painful.
Smoking out of it was not even possible.

So we loosened up, changed the coals, and mixed the flavors.
It still was pretty bad, but at least passable.

Then we basically just sat around watching Food Network.

We watched "Sweet Genius," which was actually really interesting!

The host is very... Flamboyant.

And dance-y.
And excited.

And has a very thick German-sounding accent. (It's actually Israeli, but it sounds quite terrifying).

And he's almost cute!

But I feel like he's an evil genius.
Like, when people are told that they aren't in the competition anymore, it would go something like this..

"I'm sorry, you are not a Sweet Genius. Alright, wait for them to leave the room... Waiiitt.. Waaiit forr ittt.... RELEASE THE HOUNDS!"

Seriously.

Look at him.

I will eat your children.

-------------------------

But enough of that.

There was a commercial for cinnamon rolls..
So we went to the store to get cinnamon rolls.

But apparently I was the only one who would eat one...

Well, her roommate had one too.

Then we watched Oprah!

We watched the Lance Armstrong interview.

Now that's something interesting.

I'm not even going to get into what I think, because it'd take a while.

And I want to go play video games.

Namely Resident Evil. 

I'll finish this.

Basically, that was it.

We watched The Office too, so I went home around 10:45 or so.

It was so much fun.

We just got to sit on the couch and laugh.

I ended up halfway off the couch with my legs over one side, so I was basically pressed into her side for the last episode.

And the cool thing was...

It wasn't flirty or anything. There was no romantic tension or anything.

We just sat close to each other.

I loved it.

Oh! And I sold 3 Xbox games, so now I have money to go to Narghile Nights again sometime, as soon as someone wants to go with me.

Alright, I'm bored of blogging.

I'm going to go play video games!

-Nolan 

1/16- Uh.. 'Murica.

Well, today..

You know.
Same as always.

However!

I found a new game to play.

It's called Arctic Combat.
Free to play game.

It's basically Call of Duty for poor people who have no money.
It's passable.

I mean, I'm going to play it and see if I like it enough to buy an actual Call of Duty game.

Still debating.

I also found this subreddit today.

I have a feeling I'm just going to be spending my whole time facepalm-ing when I browse it.

But still.
'Murica.

Anyway.

Here's a few of the songs that have been on my playlist pretty much all day!

Gorgeous.

Still one of my favorite songs.

Easily my #1 soundtrack, and my favorite song from it.

I heard this from Cameron and Kevin originally! 

My small collection of Trance//techno is all from them.

-Nolan

1/15- I'm attempting to be healthy!

It's true!
I'm at least trying.

I've decided to cut out soda, which isn't that hard at all.

I'm working to cut back on sugar, and maybe a little bit on calories.

I also need to get back to doing pushups.
I'm all flabby.

But I found a couple bags of M&Ms..
So I'm having some M&Ms.

God, I feel fat when I'm eating chocolate.
IT'S JUST SO GOOD THOUGH.

Anyway.

Ah! Hung out with Jessi for an hour or so today.
I went to drop off some chalk for her, because she's going to try and chalk her hair.
Like colored chalk.

From what I looked at, it looks really really cool! So hopefully that'll end up looking awesome sometime soon.

Uh..

Played a decent amount of League of Legends today!
That was fun. Played with Dane and some of his friends, won a few of them.

Now I'm applying to a few places online.
I really want a job.

Hmm, my birthday is coming up relatively quickly.

I can't decide between getting an HD monitor or buying a Call of Duty game for my PC.
I desperately need an online shooter game.
The free-to-play ones just aren't cutting it anymore.

Even though I give Call of Duty shit (because every game is the same, just with new guns and maps), they're still fun.

Even if 85% of the players are under 13 years of age.

Anyway.
My birthday.
I mean, it's coming as quickly as it was a month ago. I don't think time has sped up.
At least not that I can tell.

 If it has..

Well...

Yeah.

Anyway.

Like last night, I just.. I feel depressed.
But I don't want it to go away, isn't that weird?

As complicated as life can be, sometimes, I just want something so familiar to me that it can calm me down.
It's obviously not a good thing that depression is that "familiar" thing, but.. Well, it is.

I just.. I don't know.

I feel like something huge is missing in my life.
I have done a lot of thinking about what it is that I'm missing.
I'm still not entirely sure.

More and more, I just find myself craving a hug from a close friend before I go to sleep.
Well, I'm craving hugs all day.

But the people that I find myself wanting to see are unavailable in some way.
Be it that they don't want to see me, they're busy, or they're in a different state.. It just doesn't work out.

I really want to move out.
It's nothing against my family or anything, but.. I just want to have my own place.
Even if it's an apartment. Just.. Somewhere.

I've talked with a couple friends about maybe being roommates when we make enough money.
I have a few in mind that I wouldn't mind living with.

Sigh.

I don't even know.
I just.. Bleehh.

Living day-to-day with no real motivation or things to look forward to gets old.
That's why I'm craving that job so much.

Or more friends.
I don't know!

Anything!

Okay, not anything.
I have a feeling something huge and terrifying would happen.
Maybe an alien invasion.
Or Communism.

Or.. Alien invasion.

So not anything.

But you know what I meant.
I just want something to live for every day.
The things that I once thought were worth living for just.. Weren't.
It stopped helping me wake up.

So I'm stuck when I really don't want to go to sleep.
But I really don't want to stay awake.

SO.
I'm going to finish this application,
Brush my teeth,,
Shower,

And go to bed.

That's my goal.

-Nolan

1/14- Rant! Hookah hookah! Batman!

Today..
Hmm.

Well, I woke up in a bad mood, actually.

Here's why!

I posted this picture a couple days ago, with the title,
"Dat feel when you drive your crush and her boyfriend home from a party."

It was that night where I picked up a girl that I have a crush on, along with her boyfriend, and took her home.

Now remember, I have multiple crushes right now.
I'm not trying to date all of them or anything.
It's just being emotionally interested in a couple people, without actively trying to get with them or anything.
Gotta make that clear.

Liking multiple people doesn't make me a player.
If I was toying with all their emotions.. That'd make me a player.
But I don't do that.

Just had to get that disclaimer out there.

ANYWAY.

Her designated driver got drunk. So I was her ride!

Now, I was fine with that. I don't mind.

But..
Well, here is the ensuing conversation that evolved from that post.

Keep in mind, "crypticdarkness" is me.

--------------------

[–]thechoochlyman 5 points 2 days ago

My goodness... that is one feel I never want to experience. Ever.

My deepest feels go out to you if this actually happened to you.

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[–]crypticdarkness[S] 4 points 2 days ago

Happened last night haha.

Girl I have a crush on calls me, says she's drunk, so I offer to give her a ride home.

It's 2 in the morning. I get there, pick her up, and a guy gets in too. First words out of her mouth:

"Oh my god, thanks for giving me and my boyfriend a ride."

Yesterday was horrible. So many feels >.<

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[–]controversial_views 1 point 1 day ago

Why are you even friends with her? She has a boyfriend and she is not attracted to you. I bet she really likes having you around because she knows that you are into her and who doesn't like attention?

Here is a good comment from a recent discussion on the subject of friendzone in a different subreddit:

"[...] you should make sure you're being honest with yourself.

Ask yourself a couple questions.

If this girl offered you sex or a sexual relationship would you turn it down under any circumstance?

[...]

Do you derive value from the current relationship? Whether it be her having a hot group of friends for you to meet [...] or otherwise providing value to your life, is this someone you would choose to spend time with platonically?

If not, I would classify this person as an acquaintance, not a friend.

It's important to take some time for introspection and really try to analyze your motives. If you answer yes to both of these questions, then sure, you're probably friends.

Most of the time, when a man and a woman are "just friends," the woman gains value from the "friendship" but rules out any sexual relation. For men, it's the exact opposite."

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[–]crypticdarkness[S] 1 point 1 day ago

It's definitely not the exact opposite.

I'm her friend because I care about her. I have a crush on her, yes. If she was interested, I'd go along with it.

But I don't have to NOT have a crush on her to be her friend.

It is possible to have a crush on someone and still be their friend. When I develop a crush on someone, it stays for a while.

Because of this, I have a certain attraction to a number of people that goes beyond just being friends.

But if they aren't interested, if they just want to be friends, I have no objection.

And even if she "knows that I'm into her" and still keeps me around, who am I to complain? I'll be there for her like I always have, and I'll always be ready to help her in any way she needs.

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[–]controversial_views 1 point 12 hours ago

If you are fine with being just friends with her then why did you post this feel? Seeing your crush with another guy hurts you and you are too weak to do anything about it. You are so into her that you are willing to stop whatever you are doing and run to be a doormat for her AND her boyfriend under the guise of being her friend. That's pathetic.

A woman wants a strong, confident (masculine) man. A leader. If this is what you do on a regular basis for her she knows that you are the complete opposite of that. She knows that you will always be there for her, secretly hoping that she will reward you with sex for being such a good "friend" because you can't find anyone else. If you keep contact with one woman who rejected you and still have feelings for her it shows that you are undesirable by other women, which is a massive turnoff. So no, she will never fall in love with you no matter how much you try to please her.

If this is the man you really want to be, feel free to call yourself a nice guy and keep suffering. I am sorry for being so harsh but this is the truth. I went through all of that many times and being friends with your crush only led to negative emotions.

Read this: http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/09/19/playing-friends/
This article talks about the exact type of "friendship" you have with your crush. Also, check out /r/TheRedPill. There is plenty of information to help men like you.

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[–]crypticdarkness[S] 1 point 11 hours ago

I really, really disagree that it's pathetic. I also disagree that every single woman wants a strong confident masculine man.

Or a leader.

And holy shit man, not every single guy wants to get laid! Get your mind out of the gutter, stop believing every single stereotype you hear.

And if the "fact" that liking someone means that I'm "undesirable" by other women, then I really don't see why anyone would want to talk to anyone about feelings, if it just means you'd become undesirable.

Did I say that I want her to fall in love with me? No, I didn't.

Remember, not everyone is just like you. I'm fine with living with pain. It's who I am, it's how I live, and I don't care. I'm masochistic, even in my emotional life.

One of the links above said, "Women have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you're not fucking her, you're her girlfriend."

That's one of the most offensive things I've ever heard, and that's really saying a lot, based off of the things I've heard.

You know, it's people like you that lead to the stereotype that every guy just wants to get laid, and that guys have no emotions. I don't care what the hell you think, not everyone is the same, and not everyone has the same mindset that you do.

Today, there still are guys out there that are okay with staying friends. I guarantee there are more like me.

If you believe that "not fucking her" makes you less of a man, I have no words to even challenge you with anymore, because all you'll do is compare your "masculinity" and all the poor girls you've fucked, and tell us how how big your dick is, just so you can rub it in everyone else's face that you're so much more powerful than us.

I don't think I've been disgusted in a while, but the way you're approaching this has made me feel such contempt for people like you, for people that just spit out every single stereotype that they just heard yesterday.

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[–]controversial_views 1 point 10 hours ago

I also disagree that every single woman wants a strong confident masculine man.

Then why are all the nice guys still single? They will never approach a woman and make a move straight away, instead they will get the "let's just be friends" rejection and post a self-pitying image macro about getting friendzoned. Of course, there are women who desire shy and inexperienced men but they are clearly in the minority.

Unlike pickup artists, I am not after casual sex and I have never been. I didn't use any routines, lines or tactics and treated women like human beings. And you know what happened? I got friendzoned every time. If your method fails every time something needs to be adjusted. After reading /r/seduction for a while I decided to see if their methods were effective. I was blown away by how much more responsive women were to game than the regular nice guy "friend" approach.

If women were attracted to shy/awkward/beta men, the seduction scene would be significantly smaller. From what I have seen, most guys get into this stuff because they just want a girlfriend, someone to love. If the cliché "be yourself" advice worked, there would be no demand for game.

That's one of the most offensive things I've ever heard, and that's really saying a lot.

I was also extremely offended by seduction material the first time I read it. Since then I spent about 4 months publicly making fun of pickup artists and their "creepy" behaviour. When I hit rock bottom, seriously considering suicide, I decided to give it a go since I didn't care anymore. I thought the ends would justify the means.

I'm fine with living with pain. It's who I am, it's how I live, and I don't care. I'm masochistic, both physically and emotionally.

When it gets to the point you can't deal with it anymore, you will look for ways to eliminate the pain and find the very resources I am pointing you to.

I want to end this by saying that the information is out there. It's offensive, immoral, sexist. You can call it whatever you want but it is known to have helped many men like you and me. When you desperately need help you will overlook the stigma that surrounds it.

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[–]crypticdarkness[S] 1 point 8 hours ago

Did I say that all nice guys are single? That's not true.

And you won't "get friendzoned every time." My best relationships have come out of me being myself.

Just because when YOU tried to be yourself and no one wanted you, it doesn't mean that every other nice guy out there is as undesirable as you are.

I'm a nice guy, and I can approach a woman and make a move straight away. Just because I'm nice doesn't mean I won't make a move if I feel that there's a chance there.

How are you "not into casual sex?" If you have to go to the internet to learn how to attract a woman, I would say that's pretty pathetic.

You say you're treating women as human beings, but in a few sentences, you just say how you tested out "methods" on how to attract a woman, based on tactics that other men have tried out?

How is that not using them?

And remember, you said "From what I have seen, most guys get into this stuff because they just want a girlfriend, someone to love."

Key words, "From what I have seen."

You haven't seen everyone. You must have a disturbingly bleak outlook on life if you assume that "be yourself" never has worked before. The relationships that I've had, both sexual and romantic, have all been because I was "being myself."

I don't try and present myself as an overly masculine man, and I don't make promises that I can't keep.

If I go for a relationship, it's not because all I want to do is fuck them and leave them.

I applaud how you're bowing out early.

And one more thing, don't you EVER compare you to myself.

I am NOTHING like you, and I'm very proud of it.

--------------------

Now, I can't figure out how to get the indent to go away..

So we're just going to type with it there.

Shh, don't look at it.

Maybe it'll get bored and wander off.

Anyway.

So, I realize that I got a little heated in this discussion.

And I freely admit that I might have stopped making sense just because I got so pissed off.

I don't want you to think that I'm so proud of that post that I refuse to see any problems with it.

I also probably missed a couple things I should have tried to counter, but.. Well, it's as good as I could do when I was beyond angry.

Alright, furious.

I'll try to explain why!

I don't know if this is exactly what he meant, but I took it that way.

I think he was trying to tell me that the fact that I have a crush on a girl and I'm not trying to get in her pants, and that I'm okay with putting her feelings first, even if it upsets me, that it makes me less of a man.

If you have read any of my blogs, you probably can tell that I really, really, really hate that type of male stereotype.

I mean... Well, look at me! I'm the exact opposite of the male stereotype.

I'm not ripped,

I don't have to bang every girl I meet,

Just because I'm friends with a girl doesn't mean I'm trying to get in her pants,

I have a very feminine side. 

It kind of comes with being a bisexual guy.

I guess.. I don't know how to summarize all of this.

But needless to say, it made my day horrible just by reading those comments, and having to put into thought my own opinion without just turning into a raving maniac who insults his personal life and doesn't make any real statements.

I can't even put into words how much I despise that stereotype, and how much contempt I feel for the fact that he assumes that every guy always wants to get laid, and that he's so confident that he's right that he compares me to him, and tells me how to pick up chicks, because obviously I'm not capable of making decisions for myself.

JUST because I can have a crush on a girl and allow her feelings to come first.

JUST because I don't put my issues in front of hers.

JUST because I can let my emotions sit in a corner, and try to care for someone else before I worry about myself.

I'm furious. 

Now, I know his life is different, and I know he sees things a different way!

His circumstances were different, his brain is wired differently, he's been brought up differently.

I can understand that!

But when he assumes that all guys are the same, when he tells me that what works for one guy works for all of us, when he talks about trying out different methods to pick up chicks because he isn't confident in himself, and therefore we all need to read "/r/seduction" because NO girl could EVER want someone who is comfortable with being himself?

No. That's when I get angry. 

It's..

GAH.

I just hate people sometimes.

A lot of the time.

Most of the time.

Particularly men.

And girls.

And spiders.

But not kittens.

I like kittens.

Alright.

Rant is done.

I could go on for a few days, but I'll talk about my day now.

-------------------

So, aside from that, my day was good.

I tried to apply to a job, but all they were looking for were management positions.

Sadly.

Uhhhhhh... I rearranged my computer desk!

I ordered a VGA cable splitter.

Because I'm going to have 2 monitors along with my laptop screen!

I'll post a picture when I get it.

For my birthday, I'm going to try and save up to get an HD monitor.

4 SCREENS. I CAN LOOK AT 4 SUBREDDITS AT ONCE.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

SO MANY KITTENS.

So that'll be fun.

Dude. I'm cuddled and wound up in my blanket around my head.

I wonder if this is how Jawas feel.

I played some League today, and had a fantastic time.

I played Xin Zhao.

And listened to this for all 3 of my games.

It's just IMPOSSIBLE to be angry while listening to this.
I shouted the lyrics in all chat, and told people how to be a MAN.

It was so much fun.

So later, I went to Narghile Nights (hookah bar) with Bethany and Ben!

It was a great time. I love those two. 

We just sat and talked for a while.

Then we went to McDonald's. Yum, fattening.

I had a small thing of fries and a small M&M McFlurry.

Not too bad.

I just have to not eat for a week!

That'll even it out, right?

I did some talking with Bethany, and I've decided that I'm going to try and explore my more.. Gay side.

So we made plans to go get a manicure sometime soon, and have a Channing Tatum movie marathon.

And maybe throw some Joseph Gordon-Levitte in there.

And Johnny Depp.

So, how about right now..

Depressed.

Now, I know that I can avoid this by going to bed early.

Mom encourages me to do that.

But.. Eh. I'm okay with being depressed for a few hours out of the day.

I mean, it was for a few years straight, so a few hours a day?

It's not as bad as it used to be.

Although, the interesting thing is that unlike before, I can pinpoint the exact things that are making me feel this way!

Honestly...

I'd rather take depression with no clear cause rather than knowing what it is that makes me feel this way.

It'd be much more comforting to me.

If you have some sort of depression problems, you know exactly what I mean.

If not...
Whoa, look behind you! It's Batman!

Oh wait, he's gone.

HE IS THE NIGHT.

--------------------

Sigh.

Alright, I'm going to go watch funny things.

I know that it won't help, but I just need something to do before bed.

Opah!

To the internet!

-Nolan