Title basically says it all.
I'm half-asleep.
I decided to stay awake and start a NMHC survival on Dungeon Defenders with Shaun, James, and Caleb.
Smart me, I took my Seroquel at 3.
And then actually made an effort to stay awake.
Silly Nolan.
I wanted to pull an all-nighter, but I knew I actually wouldn't.
Dunno why I torture myself like that.
Oh well.
Live and learn.
Hmmm.
Thoughts.
Well, not much is in my head right now.
I'm close to falling asleep.
I'm listening to Owl City to relax.
Not always smart, considering I have a multitude of memories associated with lots of his songs.
They're happy memories but....
Things I shouldn't be focusing on.;
They hurt my heart to think about.
But.... I still occasionally think about it.
You know?
Those nights where you're tired of hiding it all, and you just let yourself dwell in the past and think about all those memories that you try to avoid thinking about.
I have those nights a lot.
But.. I don't know. Sometimes they help because it lets out emotions that normally wouldn't get out.
Like right now.
I'm sitting, half-asleep, blogging, and listening to Owl City.
Aaron's alarm goes off in... 15 minutes or so.
And rather than sleep then get woken up, I'm just trying to stay awake long enough to make it past the alarm.
Why am I so emotional?
Probably because I'm exhausted.
And the fact that I'm listening to Rainbow Veins, Chasing Cars, Promise, and The Only Exception isn't helping either.
Not very smart of me.
But it's probably best to let these emotions out a little bit at a time.
Sigh.
I'm tired of emotions right now.
Hell, I'm tired of them most of the time.
They're just...
I don't know. Mine are just too scattered and random to truly enjoy.
And there goes the tears.
Probably a sign to change the song.
But I'm too lazy to even think of a different song to listen to.
Let's put it on shuffle... Hang on...
Oh.
Really?
Really iPod?
Can't Stand It by Nevershoutnever?
You cheeky bastard.
Not very nice of you.
Jerk.
I'm talking to my electronic device that plays music I choose to listen to..
Hehe.
Weird.
I'm curled up on the chair in my basement, listening to my iPod, typing, and sitting with Unicorn the Zebra-Cat-Dog-Cow-Fish Garcia-Nerger.
That's the full name of Unicorn.
That's right, I'm in a room full of college guys, cuddling with a stuffed Zebra and crying.
Heh.
What a man.
Oh well.
I'm going to go to sleep now.
I'm tired of being awake and.. Feeling feelings.
You know?
Yeah.
It's one of those special moods that's so.. Vivid.
Definitely unique.
Alright, now I'm actually going to sleep.
Hopefully I'll wake up a little more cheery.
Not really in the mood to cry anymore, so I'm going to rest.
Hopefully.
God, I miss Jess.
Really badly.
It's just one of those nights.
Mornings?
It's just one of those mornings.
Alright, I really do need to sleep right now.
As soon as these fricking memories stop invading and mobbing my head.
Ugh.
I wish I didn't have to deal with this right now.
I'm sick and tired of constantly being bombarded by thoughts and memories that are better left un-thought of.
Things that should stay buried.
Things I shouldn't have to remember.
Things that lay dormant, waiting to attack me when I'm at my worst.
I just..
I'm tired of it.
I wish my memories would.. Stop affecting me like this.
I have memories, and I don't really want them to leave, just...
Be dampened by something. Like softening the blow.
So that it wouldn't rip me to shreds and break down barriers I try to build up.
Well, Aaron's alarm went off.
Guess that's my cue.
I need to be up in 4 hours to remind Caleb to get up.
Then I'll get a couple hours of sleep.
Alright.
Good night.
...
Ugh. Emotions and memories.
Screw you.
>.<
-Nolan
Also, have a good day everybody!
It's a... Wonderful day?
I'm not sure if it or not.
Maybe it will be.
iPod says it might be in the 90's today.
Gah.
Why do I have to be so emotionally unstable.
Hopefully curling up with Unicorn will help me cheer up.
Good night for real now.
-Nolan (Again)
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