One of these days, I'll pick my own topic to blog about.. I need to stop stealing my friends' topics.
But oh well.
I'll do it anyway.
So today, I've decided to steal my friend Caleb's topic!
His most recent post was about how lots of us end up living for someone else, rather than ourselves.
I definitely have to agree with him!
I do the same thing.. I like to pretend I've moved pass that stage in my life, but I still do live for others rather than myself. I'm not sure why.... I'm just that sort of person.
As far as I can remember, I've lived for others. I never really had the willpower to live for myself.
I still don't really have much motivation to actually accomplish my own goals, because I don't see my own goals and dreams as worth chasing.
I guess I've always loved helping others get closer to their own dreams.
I don't live for me.
I can't find self-worth in anything besides others.
I place my own worth on others.
I look for acceptance, I look for approval in others.
To me, it seems more logical. I know that sounds weird, but it's just how I feel.
The thing is, I refuse to accept compliments, and I refuse to even once admit that I'm good at something (because I'm really not good at anything).
When I think I'm good at something, I get bothered because I feel self-righteous and prideful.
I just feel that way. I have weird thought processes. What can I say.
I've always based my own worth on others' opinions. Again, It's because it seems logical.
Just because I think I'm worth something, it doesn't make it true. My own opinion of my own self doesn't seem like it'd be fake. You know? It's hard to explain.
I base my own worth on what everyone else thinks of me.
I know it's considered a bad habit, but I just.. Well I don't want to change it.
I suppose it's a bad thing. In fact, living for others is the root of a few different issues that I struggle with.
Because I live for others, I have to be able to be a different friend for everybody.
I've gotten better at that, but it's a weird thing. I compartmentalize everything. Everything.
That compartmentalization messed me up and made it harder for me to actually pick out exactly what I wanted.
I'm still that way. No matter what, my goals come second. No matter who I'm talking to, what I'm doing, what they're going through, my goals come after their's.
Like Caleb says, it's good to find friends that you can hang onto, friends who love you for you.
The interesting thing is, I've made lots of friends by not being myself. By being who they want me to be.
I mean, I don't just tell them that. I hide it so it looks like I'm a better friend. The thing is....
I have a few friends that like me for who I am. Quirks and all.
Friends who will keep you for you are pretty amazing. Find them, keep them!
I've been encouraged by friends to not live my life to please others. It's something that I need to work on, but I like making others happy. Even if it makes me unhappy.
I'm the kind of person that will ignore his unhappiness if it means someone else will be happy.
I love making people smile. I really do. I'll do anything to make them smile. Anything, except for lying to them. I don't lie to others to make them happy. That's just.. Stupid. I don't do that.
But I do try my hardest to make others happy. I've been told that I will be happier if I can try and accomplish my own goals.
I don't know if I believe that. I don't really trust myself to make myself happy. It's more risky to me.
I'd rather spend my time making other people smile.
I guess... I don't know. Haha.
I just find it extremely weird that there are people out there who would accept me as I am, even when they know what I've been through, who I've been.
It's one of those things that bothers me because it's just plain illogical. To be friends with someone who is messed up, someone who hurts others, just isn't smart! And yet.. I still have friends.
It's so weird.
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So if you're like me, if you live for others...
Let's try and stop that.
Let's try together! I mean, I'm going to start trying to live for myself. I don't like the idea, just hearing it makes me nervous.
But hey.. I'll give it a try. It might help, it might be worth it.
I might fail, but I won't gain anything if I never try anything.
I'm going to give it a try.
Maybe I'll learn to be happy on a regular basis.
If I learn to make myself happy by living for me, I'll be very surprised. I'm now interested.
I'm debating if it's really worth it. It probably isn't, but I might as well try, right?
Right!
Well... Yeah.
Give it a try everybody(:
Don't find your worth in others. They're not you.
Just because someone else doesn't like you, it doesn't mean you're not worth liking.
It just means you don't strike them as a person that they would get along with.
Not every single person will like you. It's true!
If you try to make every single person you know happy, it just won't end well for you.
I mean, I have a couple problems that have arisen from my compartmentalization, from my innate need to make someone else happy. I won't recommend doing that. Not a good idea.
But some of us do it automatically, we just feel that way.
It's not a bad thing! It's just... Well in the long run, it won't be beneficial to yourself, and it might hurt you.
You're worth so much more than you think. To someone, you're the most important person in the world.
To someone, you're what makes them happy.
To someone, you're the person they wake up to talk to.
To someone, you're their closest and best friend.
To someone, you're the only person that they can come to and talk with.
Many of us don't realize just how important we are.
Just because someone doesn't like you.. It doesn't mean everyone doesn't like you.
You're worth so much more than you even know.
So don't get down on yourself because someone thinks you're stupid.
Their opinion doesn't matter! Because they don't decide who you are.
You decide how much you're worth.
You decide who you are, nobody else.
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Yeah!
I guess that's really it..
Not much to say.
Sorry for the short post, but oh well.
What can I say? I'm lazy.
So in case you didn't earlier, read Caleb's post on this! His is more interesting and much more thought out(:
Sooo.. Done!
Yup.
Done.
Have a good rest of the day (:
-Nolan
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Top Five Songs of the Day
American Idiot by Green Day
The End of Heartache by Killswitch Engage
Jordan by Buckethead
Blind by Lifehouse
Easier to Run by Linkin Park
Song Lyric of the Day
~It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past~
-Easier to Run by Linkin Park
Youtube Video of the Day
We watched this in my child psychology class.... Hahaha.
Picture(s) of the Day
Sarcastic Wonka has quickly become my favorite meme.
Well hello! Welcome to my daily blog! Where I..... Blog. Daily.
Crazy right?
I know!
I'm so crazy.
Nah just mostly crazy.
I don't really have a super awesome great crazy delicious wonderful well-written blog for you today.
But I did write a post! About stuff!
I even used words too.
It's fancy.
I used all them good words cause of my book learnin'.
I was listening to 'Little Things' by Good Charlotte, and I decided to write something kind of off the message in the song.
So yeah...
Here's my post for the day (:
Hope you enjoy it!
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For all of you who were the "odd one" out.
For those of you who were always the one that nobody liked.
For those of you who were bullied constantly.
For all of us were considered "freaks".
For all of you who were never good enough for everyone else.
For those of you who were too weird, too strange to make friends.
For all of us who are weird, strange, different, odd, stupid, picked on..
You guys are awesome.
It doesn't matter what everyone else tells you.
It doesn't matter what they think of you.
They don't know you, they don't understand you.
If they don't like you, if they don't believe in you, that's their problem!
Yeah, you'll get shit from people.
People will pick on you because they think you're stupid.
Because they don't like you.
They think you're lesser than they are, but, frankly, that's bullshit!
You deserve happiness as much as they do!
The "popular" kids are pretty much that.
They're popular.
Doesn't mean they're cool, it doesn't mean they're nice, it doesn't mean they have tons of friends. It just means they're liked or accepted by more people!
But you know what?
They may be liked, but they probably don't have as many REAL friends as we do!
Just because they're liked doesn't mean they're awesome. You know?
They show people what others want to see!
Sure, tons of people like them, but how many of those people actually take the time to get to know them?
Probably not many.
Being popular is overrated anyway.
I'd rather have friends rather than have people just like me.
I was never the popular kid.
I wasn't "cool".
I didn't really get dates to dances that actually wanted to go with me, and if I went with someone, things were awkward.
I got made fun of for being a geek.
I've been made fun of because people thought I was gay.
Hell, I got made fun of for pretty much anything.
I wasn't good at sports.
I didn't have girls falling all over me.
I didn't even date that many girls!
I've been rejected tons and tons of times.
I got broken up with in a week because I wasn't cool enough for her.
I got shit for cutting myself.
I got shit for not being the "perfect christian kid".
I've been judged, a lot. I mean a lot. Lots.
I'm socially awkward.
I don't really make friends that easily.
It's taken me a while to realize this, but you know what?
I don't care.
If they don't like me for who I am, that's their issue.
I'm me. I'm unique, I'm weird, I'm geeky, I'm strange, I make stupid jokes, I'm not that sexy, I'm definitely not a chick magnet, I have scars covering my body, I have an interesting past, I write these little silly blogs, I have a strange sense of humor, I'm not artistic, I love screamo music, I love hip-hop, I love classical music, I love my friends, I don't party, I'm not popular, I can't play any sort of sport to save my life, I'm out of shape, I'm weak, I'm obsessed with video games, I can't seem to find a girlfriend, I make mistakes, I'm not smart, I'm the odd one out. I'm weird. I'm unique, strange, and different. I'm Nolan.
I'm Nolan, I'm who I am.
I'm how I've turned out.
I'm different.
I may not be super popular, but I don't care.
Because of who I am, I've made so many great friends.
I don't have to lie to my friends. They accept me for who I am.
Some of my closest friends I've met by talking about silly things like video games, music, or even memes!
I mean seriously!
My friends accept me, they love me for what I am. Most of my friends don't judge me. My closest friends never judge me. I love my friends. I can be stupid, I can be geeky, I can be funny, I can be emotional, I can make the stupidest remarks, and they'll still care about me.
We all have those friends. The close friends we can't be without. The friends that are basically our siblings, but not by blood. Find these friends and hold onto them tight. Don't let them go. If you fight, get them back! They were your closest friends at one point, so don't let them leave your life.
If you have these friends, these people you can be stupid around, keep them with you forever. These friends will be your friends for life.
Find the ones that love you for who you are:)
They're precious and rare. Protect them.
If someone makes fun of me, it's not just because I'm different. They're making fun of me to feel better.
They want to give me crap about who I am because they get crap from others.
I don't need popular people to feel better about myself!
I'm who I am!
I know I'm going to sound like an angry, bitter, overweight ginger kid.. but...
You don't know me.
You're not God!
Blehh.. BWRREELLHHHGHRHGH!
That kid scares me.. He yells so much. It's honestly stressful. He's funny, but terrifying. Seriously.
If you look at me and think you understand me, I hate to break it to you, but you can't figure me out in a few days. Or a month. In order to REALLY figure out who I am, how I think what I do, what I think, you'll need a year or more.
So to all of you guys out there who aren't popular.
To all of you who feel out of place..
To you who weren't able to date them because you weren't cool enough..
Screw society!
Be who you are!
If someone doesn't like that, ignore them.
If they don't accept you the way you are, they're not even worth your time!!
You don't have to change who you are to be a good person.
You want to find a real friend? Be who you are!
Look around find people with the same interests!
Frankly, this is more about high school than college, but the same thing still applies.
High school is the hardest, worst, roughest, best 4 years of your life.
You'll be rejected, you'll be made fun of, you'll get shit for who you are, you'll go through so many changes, you'll want to be accepted, you'll want to be popular, you'll want a relationship, you'll wish multiple times that you were someone different.
It's high school, and it sucks. A lot.
But hey, I made it through.
If I can make it, you can!
So if people give you shit, don't let it get to you.
That's a lot to ask, but give it a try. If worst comes to worst, laugh, flip them off and walk away!
If people make fun of you, don't stand for it. Walk away. Be better than them.
It'll make them look pretty damn stupid if they're so cool that they can make fun of someone else, and that person just laughs and walks away!!
I promise you, you'll find friends who like you for YOU. They aren't trying to get anything out of you, there's no hidden goals. They hang out with you because they genuinely enjoy your company!
Everything you've ever been through has shaped you, has made you become who you are today.
You are you because of every experience you've.... experienced.
You don't need to be ashamed of who you are.
You should be proud to be you! Because no one else is you.
I mean.. Unless you cloned yourself. If you're smart enough to do that.
Seriously. Give me some of the money you make off of that. I'd like more money.
I wonder what your cloned self would be like? Would they have shared memories and behavioral traits? I'm not even sure about that.
I think it'd just be lots of crazy people with duplicates running around and.. I don't know. Buying 2 ice cream cones. Or getting tons of free samples. I don't even know!
But back to the topic..
Things you've been through, things you've seen, things you've done.. They're all in the past. There are things you regret.. There are things you've wished you could do. Things you wanted to do differently.
I know you've probably heard it, but they are in the past! You can't change them.
That's kind of rough. But it's true.
But.... You are who you are because of those experiences.
I mean, read this blog I wrote about some of my problems, some of the things I've been through.
I may regret some of my choices, but I have to live with them. I made the decisions, and I'm dealing with them.
Lizzi told me that "Don't regret any decisions because at one point, they're exactly what you wanted."
It's so true. Now that you think about it, you don't think it was smart, you don't like what you did.
But the thing is, when you made those decisions, it was because you wanted it. It's because it's what you wanted to do!
I like what she told me. The thing is, it's often hard to not regret something you've done that you don't like now.
Frankly, I kind of regret the self-harm I've done for the past 4+ years.
But... At the same time... I'm kind of glad that I've been through that.
It gives me such a unique look at how others feel. It helps me relate with others!
It allows me to connect with people on a level that not many others can connect with.
I don't regret what I've been through.. It allows me to help others in a way that I know is needed.
I don't just throw aside people's problems, because I know what it's like to have problems, but no one can relate to you, or no one wants to listen.
I'm able to be a better listener. I'm able to empathize with people.
I think one of the biggest things I can do that shows I trust someone is to let them look at my arms in detail.
I don't let people do that.. I don't let anyone sit and look at my arms. It's not okay for me.
I literally have not let anyone just sit and look at my arm, except for the doctors at Mountaincrest.
Frankly, I only trust maybe 2 or 3 people that much. But I've never actually had the opportunity to sit down in person and talk about that.
However, having these scars has opened up conversations. It allows me to tell a person that I know, sort of, what they're going through.
I'm able to connect with people better.
I'm different, I'm strange.
I'm extremely unique! I'm Nolan.
I'm who I am because of what I've been through.
I'm who I am because of the choices I've made.
You're different too.
Yeah, you're different. Yeah, not every person will like you.
But you were born this way baby!
Yeahhh I kind of love Lady Gaga, and that song definitely fits this blog.
She's right, you know. She really is.
You were born the way you were for a reason. You were born to be who you are!
You don't have to completely change who you are just because someone makes fun of you. You don't have to change yourself to make friends. You don't need to become a new person just so people will love you!
I can't emphasize that enough. You are who you are, be proud of it. Own it.
You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are! There is no reason to be ashamed because of who you are.
I'm kind of ranting about this because I've always had something against the popular kids. It upset me because I wasn't as popular as some guys. It took me basically to my senior year to realize that it really doesn't matter what people think of me because I can't just change their opinion easily, I can't just change myself and force them to like me. It took me a long time to realize this.
If you can figure this out earlier than I did, I guarantee things will be a little easier. Adopt this attitude, and you'll have confidence in yourself, you'll be more comfortable with who you are, you'll make friends a little better.
I realize that this is a lot to just say, but I encourage you to give it a try!! You never know.. You might be happier:)
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I realize my post kind of wandered from the original beginning, but hey.. I wrote it.
It's what was going on in my brain, so I hope someone enjoys it!
Share it with your friends if you like it
I'd love for more people to read these:)
If you are brave enough, leave a comment below.. Why are you unique?
What makes you who you are? What experiences have helped you define who you are today?
I would love to read anything you have to say, and I'm sure others would too.
In fact, I'm going to actually just ask you that you post something below.
Tell me why you think you're unique, what has shaped you into who you are today?
You can leave the comment as Anonymous, so don't be shy!
No one will know your name unless you choose to put it in there.
I hope you guys liked this. I kinda got into it, in case you didn't notice haha.
I'm pretty passionate about this. So until next time, you were born this way baby. Be proud of it. There's nothing wrong with loving who you are:)
Hang in there everybody.
You got this.
-Nolan
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Top Five Songs of the Day
Born This Way by Lady Gaga
Little Things by Good Charlotte
Odd One by Sick Puppies
Sing by My Chemical Romance
Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars
Song Lyric of the Day
~My mama told me when I was young,
We are all brn superstars.
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir.
"There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are!"
She said, "Cause He made you perfect, babe,
So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say!"
I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes,
I'm on the right track baby,
I was born this way!
Don't hide yourself in regret,
I kind of don't really have a big topic for my blog today, but reading Ashley's post this morning has made me think a little bit.
For as long as I can remember, people have come to me with their problems.
That sounds kind of negative, actually.
People have come to me when they feel like they need to get something off their chest.
That sounds more positive!
This, however, is not a bad thing.
As a matter of fact, I love being able to listen to people and how they feel.
It actually is one of my favorite things to do in this world.
It is such a wonderful feeling for me to be trusted by someone enough to have them tell me how they feel.
I've been asked if it overwhelms me when people vent to me..
It really doesn't. It helps me.
If I'm upset, I would prefer to talk about someone else's issues!
It takes the focus off of me. It gives me the means to put my problems aside, and just help someone work through what they're going through.
For most of my life, I've been told two things.
1. I give the best hugs,
2. I'm a great listener.
I'm not sure why I give the best hugs.. But I've seriously been told that for so long, it's nuts!
I... yeah, I have no idea why that is. But apparently, it's true! So yeah! Yeah... That's all I got about that.
But as for being a great listener... I don't know. I like listening to people.
It can give me insight on how people react to certain issues, which makes it easier to read people.
The main reason I actually listen to people vent is because I care.
I really do.
I care about my friends so much.
So so so so much.
I'm good at compartmentalizing things, which is a good and bad thing in this situation.
It's good because I'm able to set aside my problems and devote my attention to helping them.
It's bad because it can often override my issues completely, and I shove them down and refuse to let them come out.. That happens more often. I just don't feel like dealing with my problems, so I pretend they're not there. I'm good at that too.
I suppose I often care more than I should, and I devote my entire being to fixing someone else's problems.
Even when I'm told that's a bad thing, I do it anyway. I just want to help people so much that I often will focus on that more than anything else in the world.
Yesterday, I was told by a close friend that my problem is that I blame myself for everything.
It's true.
I really do. I'm so damn paranoid of hurting people that I figure it's safer to constantly be apologizing for everything I do, in case I hurt someone, rather than NOT apologizing and hurting someone.
That's why I blame myself for everything.. I just..
Well I feel like everything is my fault.
And I can't change that. I really can't.
It's who I am.
And who I am is.. Different.
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I've always enjoyed being a special friend. Not just a friend, a special friend.
I don't mean a boyfriend... For the short time I've had that experience, I definitely love being a boyfriend.
But I also love being a special friend.
I'm kind of stealing what Ashley said, but..
Well, I want to be the friend that you can call, baked off your ass, so I can pick you up and take you home.
I want to be the friend that you can be honest to, when you lie to everyone else.
I want to be the one person that you take off your emotional mask in front of.
I want to be the friend that you talk to because you need someone.
I want to be the friend that will drive to your house in the middle of the night, just to give you a hug.
I want to be able to drop by your house and give you candy, just because you had a rough day.
I love being a friend.. I really do.
I love feeling trusted, like I'm someone important.
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Like Ashley said though, I want people to ask me what's wrong sometimes.
However... I'm really weird about that.
I either want to talk about my problems, or I don't.
That sounds simple, but I'm saying that they are two completely polar, extreme opposites.
I'll often come to a friend, begging for someone to listen to me while I complain and bitch about my life.
However, I'll talk about my problems for about 10 minutes, then I'll feel guilty that I'm burdening them, and I'll abruptly stop even talking about myself, then switch subjects.
It's not because I don't trust them, it's not because I have anything against them, it's just..
Well I hate being a burden, and I'm a burden to many people. I know people will tell me I'm not, but I just don't believe them. I realize that I'm extremely annoying to listen to because I'll sit and whine about the stupidest things.
I'm not sure why I'm like that, to be honest. I think it's just a natural impulse for me.
I'm always paranoid of losing my friends because of something I've done.
Because of that, I will do anything physically possible to avoid hurting them.
If that means I can't vent to them, I'll do it.
However, when it comes to venting, I'm not very good at it.
I used to vent all the time, mostly to Ashley, but I guess I've just.. Lost the skill.
I don't vent well anymore. I dump all my emotions out at once, and it overwhelms so many people..
And I hate that. So I just have gotten good at holding in most of my issues. Most, not all.
I feel like people deal with me just because they'd feel bad if they didn't.
Sometimes, I feel like nobody genuinely cares about me.
I realize that people do... But when I'm that down, I start to believe different things.
Most of the time, I just hate myself, because I feel absolutely disgusting if I even start to hate someone else.
I've heard that some people tend to believe the worst in people, so they aren't disappointed.
I'm kind of the opposite. I tend to believe the best in people, and believe the worst in me.
I don't know why. I've always blamed myself for everything.. I really don't like or trust myself enough to believe in myself. I've always been that way.
But I always believe the best in someone else. In others. If I'm hurt, I don't think it's my fault.
Even if it's completely illogical to blame myself for being hurt, I still will.
I don't like admitting that someone else has hurt me, because that would mean that they did something wrong.
Again, this is how I've always been. In every aspect of my life, that's how I see it.
I don't blame anyone else for my pain. I blame everything on myself, because that way, nobody else has a bad name. If I'm to blame for everything, then no one else has done something wrong, right?
That's how I see it.
Even if I'm in pain, I just don't like blaming someone else for it.
I guess I'm weird like that.
I don't know..
I don't see anything wrong with it. I'd rather blame myself for all my pain rather than risk hurting someone else by blaming them.
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I have to admit something right here..
All these blog posts that are positive, all these things that I talk about..
I believe in every single one.
Each word in those posts, I firmly believe in.
I really do think everybody deserves respect.
I truly do think women need more respect.
I think everyone is beautiful in their own way.
I cannot emphasize enough that I really meant every single blog I've written.
However...
I don't believe them about myself.
I don't think I deserve respect, I don't think I'm beautiful in my own way.
I've been told that people think I'm a happy person based on my blogs.
The truth is, I write those because I want to help someone else.
Like I said.. I believe the best in others, and the worst in myself.
So don't think I wrote those just to sound nice, just to get attention.
I really believe every word I wrote.
I just.... Well, I don't think that the positive things are about me.
Does that make sense?
So please don't spread any kind of rumor that I don't think those blogs are true.. Because I know they are.
I know that they help someone else.
By writing them, it allows me to devote time and energy to making someone else's day better, to making them smile.
I live for that.
I love seeing smiles on peoples' faces, especially if I was able to help them form that smile.
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Well, that's my short post for the day.
I might put up another one later, I might not.
By the way, if you like reading blogs, I would definitely recommend checking out Ashley's blog. Her posts are shorter and more to the point than mine are.
I personally love reading her posts more than my own!
She has such a unique perspective and writing style, and it's just awesome to read about her life and thoughts on various things.
So yeah! Check it out some time! I dare you.
Have a good day everybody (:
-Nolan
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Top Five Songs of the Day
Predictable by Good Charlotte
Icarus Lives! by Periphery
Broken by Seether ft. Amy Lee
You Kill Me (In a Good Way) by Sleeping with Sirens
I'm currently sitting with my head on my desk, typing. I can't see, so I might be messing up.
I'll be looking up soon, so I'll fix any errors then.
But anyway.
Not much has happened today. I basically just sat around my room, relaxing.
Or trying to.
Mostly worked!
Just....
I don't know.
I'm restless. I don't want to be in this room.
More correctly, I don't really want to be in this house.
Or town.
Or this state, to be honest.
I'd rather be somewhere far far away.
Have you ever wanted to just.. Disappear?
Vanish into another state, start a brand new life. New friends, new environment.
Wouldn't that be great?
Sigh.
It really would.
At this point, I'd rather be... Where......
Probably California.
Sunnier. Warmer.
I'd be able to go to the beach.
I wish I had a fast car.
I could just get on the interstate and drive.
Straight away.
Out of this state.
Through the next.
Through state after state, until I found somewhere I could stay.
Or even better, if I could give myself amnesia.
Not the dark descent.. I'd rather not wake up in a castle with jam coming out of the walls.
But.. Selective amnesia, even.
So I could forget everything. Start fresh.
I don't know.
I guess I'm just not in a very optimistic mood right now.
So yeah.
Sorry about that.
--------------------
Let's see.. Played a lot of League of Legends again today.
And Deus Ex.
Great games.
Deus Ex is fun.
I'm kind of... Mixing and matching my character.
It's going well.
Stealthy, but if I get in a gunfight, I can handle myself.
League of Legends, I've been jungling all day! I've decided my favorite junglers are Yi, Tryndamere, and Udyr.
A little bit ago, I was trying out to see if I could get jungle Malzahar or jungle Karthus working.
Close, but all I had trouble with was red buff.
Fast clears, but low hp by the time I got to red.
I'll try it again tomorrow, when I care.
Right now, I'm sitting and listening to Sherwood.
Good music.
I love them.
I'm texting a few friends.
I don't know..
I'm just 'meh' today.
Oh well.
I'm not feeling as sick as before! Hopefully I'll feel a little better tomorrow morning.
Or, now morning.. I guess.
When I wake up.
That's a better time.
Yeah!
I don't know.
I'm tired of being awake, so I'm gonna go to sleep.
Night night!
--------------------
I don't feel like doing the whole "top five" thing or any of that.. But I did make a funny picture!
Woke up, ate breakfast, went to counseling for an hour.
We had A LOT to talk about.
It was nice.
It's great to be able to vent to someone who won't judge you, or be angry at you for something you've done.
I really needed that.
After this week... It was nice to get the chance to just sit down and vent.
It was great.
Let's see... What else to talk about.
I feel sick.
I'm in class. I don't want to be here.
I feel really, really sick.
Ugh.
I suppose it's just..
Well I've been skipping lunch and dinner for the past couple days.
I just hate eating.
I really, really hate eating!
I really do.
I don't feel comfortable with my body. I hate it.
I just..... Don't want to eat.
It just seems wasteful to me.
You know?
I don't know.. I just don't like eating.
Yeah..
I suppose that's not a good thing.
But...
Yeah.
I talked to one of my friends last night, and she helped me work through the night.
I was so upset. I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to sleep..
She helped me. She talked me through it and helped me choose to eat something.
I'm really encouraged by someone saying "I'm proud of you."
Even if it's for something really really small... It means a lot to me.
It makes me so happy when someone can truly claim they're proud of me.
It's so amazing. It's one of the few things that can consistently cheer me up.
I felt so sick. It was just a fiber bar.. But I felt huge after I ate it.
It filled me up so much. I hated it.
Even now... I went out and got some chips and queso with a couple friends at Qdoba.
I feel so so sick after eating it.
I looked at the little cheese cup and felt guilty for eating it all.
I'm now thinking about food.. And it's making me feel even worse.
Urgh. Stomach is killing me.
Well.
Depressing start to a blog, eh?
Hopefully I can think of something more entertaining!
Let's see..........
Okay, I need to leave class. I need to get home. I think I'm going to be sick.
I'll finish writing this later.
Soooo I'll see you again, Mr. Blog Post. Preferably when I'm feeling better.
--------------------
Well...... I'm home.
After tossing my cookies, I went home.
I'm now dressed in comfy, loose-fitting clothes, sitting in front of my computer, writing this blog.
I feel like shit. Just gotta say.
I feel so icky. Ugh.
My stomach feels full, even after being sick.
I can tell this is not going to be a good evening.
I want to play video games. But I don't want to put in the effort to move.
Urgh.
I'm watching Rosario + Vampire. It's hilarious. I read the entire manga series, and I just learned a week ago that the writer now released a newer time-skip series. I'm excited to start reading that.
I'm watching the anime, I'm on season 2.
It's one of those animes that's really funny... And it's kind of cool! But.. SO MANY UPSKIRTS. IT'S RIDICULOUS.
But still funny.
So what else to write about for today..
--------------------
I'm excited for the new Resident Evil games.
I LOVED 4 and 5. I beat 4 around 20 times, and 5 maybe 13 times or so.
Resident Evil 6 is going to be AMAZING.
Leon and Chris in the same game? YES.
I have also figured out the hierarchy of the most powerful attacks in world history.
Falcon Punch < Jill Redfield kick < Chris Redfield Punch < Leon Kennedy suplex
But yes, I'm quite excited. I also don't see why so many people hated the combat style in 4 and 5.
You can't move and shoot at the same time... Boo fricking hoo.
It just means you have to be careful with ammunition, and be good at aiming quickly.
I think it's fun.
But 6 looks amazing. More of a fast-paced third-person shooter.
More action. I'm very excited for it.
It's gonna be good.
I don't know what else to talk about! I'm bored and kind of out of it.
--------------------
Yeah! I don't really have much to say right now.
Derp.
Herp....
Yeah..
Anyway.
I'm gonna sit and be lazy.
Hopefully get some rest.
So yeah..
Bye I guess.
Have a good evening (:
--------------------
Top Five Songs of the Day
My Mannequin Can Dance by Matchbook Romance
Lovers and Liars by Matchbook Romance
Never Enough by Five Finger Death Punch
Knights of Cydonia by Muse
Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic
Song Lyric of the Day
~It's never enough, no it's never enough
No matter what I say
It's never enough, no it's never enough
I'll never be what you want me to be
It's all so messed up and no one ever listens
Everyone's deranged
I'm just so fucked up and I'm never gonna change
I wanna lay it all to waste
They're always say this, say that, nothing that you want to
I don't wanna live that way
Every chance they get they're always shoving me aside~
Not much has happened today :\
I woke up, ate breakfast, and left early.
Leaving early was nice because I was able to park one whole parking lot closer to campus than before.
Cuts off maybe 2 or 3 minutes.
Kind of nice.
Just a shorter walk is nice.
I slept through the end of my SOC100 class.
And half of my PSY260 class.
Then I slept for my entire off-hour.
I don't know why I'm so tired.
Okay, I do.
I'm so tired just because I've been so upset.
I don't know... It just really seems to be hitting me for the past couple days.
It just feels like everything is out to get me.
Like everyone wants to hurt me.
You know?
It's just not a good feeling.
Last night I didn't have the motivation to even play a video game.
You know how weird that is?
I haven't played a video game for more than 10 minutes for 4 days.
That's insane.
I usually can constantly game.
But I have no motivation.
All I've done is listen to music, watch Netflix, and eat.
That's it.
I can't even make myself work out.
It's crazy!
I just.. Empty feeling I guess.
Oh well.
The weekend will fix that.
Maybe I can hang out with some friends.
That would be nice (:
--------------------
Ah let's see..
Oh! My PHIL110 (Logic and Critical Thinking) professor is awesome.
He looks like a stoner.
He even sounds like one.
He's always so mellow and chill about everything.
I love his class.
He's also crazy smart!
Really smart.
He's awesome.
People in my class constantly make fun of him just because he's.. Who he is.
It kind of pisses me off!
He's a different kind of guy. That's okay!
I mean... He's funny.
But they make fun of him in a really mean way..
But I don't think he notices.
It's bothering me.
They're just.. Stupid.
Oh well.
Hopefully they'll grow up soon.
--------------------
Not much has really happened that's a funny story or even worth talking about.
I'm scared of my LIFE102 class.
It's biology, mixed with chemistry, mixed with more science.
I hate science. With a passion.
It just goes over my head.
I need to check out the free tutor soon.
Icky. Science.
I need to start doing something with my life.
I'm so boring!
It's crazy!
I need to find funny topics or something.
But until I think of something good, I'll just talk about random stuff.
Know what I'm afraid of?
1. Deep open water
2. Swallowing a sewing needle
3. Ventriloquist dummies
4. Drowning
5. Being left alone
Those are things I'm scared of.
It's weird.
Swallowing a sewing needle.... Ugh.
It makes me shiver just thinking about it.
Gross.
--------------------
I think the zombie apocalypse would be one of the biggest psychosocial evaluations ever.
I mean, if it's the type of apocalypse that a majority of the populace became zombies, causing utilities to fall apart, then the world would quickly become run by small groups of people.
I would love to see how humanity organized themselves.
The same thing could be said about a nuclear apocalypse as well.
Would we favor monarchy?
Oligarchy?
Matriarchy?
Democracy?
Dictatorship?
I mean really!
It'd be so interesting to see how humanity would attempt to rebuild society.
I kind of want to know how currency would work.
Assuming that there is no shortage of ammunition, I have a feeling that ammunition would become currency.
Like Metro 2033.
Higher caliber = higher worth
Cleaner and well-polished ammunition would probably be worth more, as well.
However, effective currency needs to be an object that has no economic use in a society.
Ammunition would work, but currency might end up being something different.
Fallout 3 suggests bottle caps.
Maybe something like that would become currency. Something that's fairly easy to find.
Then you have to wonder what you would be buying, and what sort of businesses would spring up.
Would there be people to repair weapons or vehicles?
Would there be "exterminators"?
You could hire bodyguards for sure.
Would people try to clean and sell houses? Or would everyone live in tents or under bridges?
If little towns were just sort of spread out along the landscape, you would have to organize a single currency to use at each town. Or it could just end up to be a bartering system.
In a zombie apocalypse, I'd love to see how people change.
Honestly, if it was one of those giant apocalypses where a majority of the humans on earth were zombies, I'd kill myself in a heartbeat.
But that's only if I was alone.
If I had a small group of friends, I'd definitely have a will to live.
But if I woke up in a city by myself, surrounded by zombies and a gun, I'd shoot myself.
If I had friends.....
I'd definitely live.
Like a boss.
I think it would be kind of awesome to form a ragtag team of zombie slayers.
I've always wanted to know if I had the guts to kill a zombie.
Something that looks humanoid.
It'd, again, be fascinating to me.
Also, what the hell does the military do about all this? Did they cause it? Do they want to help?
Would they wipe out everybody?
Nuke ALL the things?
Are the zombies fast and agile like Left For Dead?
Are they slow and shambling like Resident Evil?
Are there unique types like Killing Floor?
Do you need to dismember them like Dead Space?
Are they killable just by a headshot?
You'd need to answer all of those questions in order to debate how to fight them..
I would think slow and shambling.
But that's assuming that it is a viral outbreak that spreads among the dead through bites of the infected.
If they were just dead corpses reanimated by a viral agent, they wouldn't be crazy sprinting people.
Then you have to wonder what exactly the agent is adjusting in order to reanimate a body.
If it's taking the brain and bringing up natural impulses and instincts to feed, then severing the brain stem would be best.
But if it's simply restarting the heart, which would pump blood to the brain, causing it to "live", then you'd need to sever the arteries connected to the heart.
Could they see or hear? I think I would agree with High School of the Dead. An anime I just finished yesterday. I suppose that's why I have zombies on the brain.
I think they could hear, but not visually distinguish between things.
Would they be intelligent? That is, would it re-enable them to think? Would the reanimation restore memories and thought patterns?
Would they truly be "mindless" zombies?
Could they think, but because of the decaying body, they couldn't speak or communicate, just shamble around, desperately trying to feed the insatiable hunger inside them?
Would they be able to open doors and wield weapons?
Would they kill other zombies? Would they eat other zombies?
I think the only way that there could be multiple "types" of zombies would be if the cause of the infection was radioactive and nuclear.
I don't think that it would really "create" a new type of zombie or organism. I think it would just mean that each zombie is disfigured and moves or attacks in a unique way.
I'm pretty sure the only way to get crazy unique zombie types would be years and years of "survival of the fittest."
However, that begs the question.. Can they reproduce?
Could special traits be passed along?
I don't think they could reproduce.
I would say they just would infect dead bodies and create more zombies that way.
No real reproduction.
Just years and years of killing zombies.
So maybe there wouldn't be the "survival of the fittest".
Could a zombie age?
I'm thinking about that.
I mean, if a zombies are created by spreading the infection, through bites, to a dead body, then a "young" zombie would be a former dead body that had been bitten in say, the last 24 hours.
If it was left alone, could it age?
Would it eventually die of starvation?
I mean, would a zombie require sustenance? We all know that they feed on the FLESH OF THE LIVING!
But why? Maybe they're bored.
Maybe they believe it's the body of their savior. Zombie Jesus.
He is risen..
HE IS RISEN INDEED.
(I sense a zombie movie).
If the zombie bit a dead body that had.. Schizophrenia, would it be a schizophrenic zombie?
If it heard voices, would it be able to distinguish between reality and not?
Or could it inherit arthritis from the body?
Would the joins be more fragile?
I want to know these things!
These are the things I think about on a daily basis.
If I had to guess, I would say that it would be a viral infection that would affect the brain in a way that could bring up natural impulses to feed, to attack.
Slow and shambling.
No unique types of zombies.
They wouldn't be able to open doors, but in groups, they would end up breaking through a door just by sheer numbers.
They could hear and see things, but wouldn't visually distinguish between organisms.If they heard something, they'd walk towards it until they could eat it.
I don't think they'd eat other zombies. If they could, it'd kind of mess up the whole apocalypse.
The zombie wouldn't inherit any preexisting mental conditions because the only active area of the brain would basically be movement and impulses.
I'm not sure about the aging process though.
Perhaps they'd just live by feeding off of pretty much anything.
That's how I imagine it, at least.
At that point, I would say a well-aimed headshot would kill a zombie, assuming it does enough damage to the brain in order to destroy the sections of the brain that influence movement and impulse control.
Inexperienced fighters would most likely use shotguns at every turn.
In reality, shotguns would be best used when you need to clear an entire pathway.
Those experienced in firearms would probably end up using other weapons.
For example, if you need to run through an area that has a decent amount of zombies, you could most likely use a .22 just to shoot their legs, perhaps making them stumble, or at least stun them so you could ram into them.
There's no rule that says you have to kill every single zombie.
Survival is more important.
I would carry a .22, 9mm, .44 mag, a .308, and a shotgun for emergencies. Also, some sort of melee weapon.
A .22 handgun with a decently large clip, as .22 ammunition is insanely common. That would be used for crippling or making zombies stumble so you can run by them.
A 9mm handgun would be good as a backup in case you need a little more power, and has common ammo.
A .44 mag revolver would definitely be a necessity in case you have to drop single zombies extremely fast, or if the .22 just isn't cutting it.
The .308 rifle would be good for longer range, perhaps clearing out an area before you walk in.
And the shotgun would be an excellent crowd clearer, perhaps in a hallway that you need to get through.
Let's check these out individually!
--------------------
*`I'm going to pick the Walther P22 handgun as my .22 handgun. Nice and easy to use.
*For the 9mm, I have to choose the Beretta 92fs. We have one, and I love it. Crazy accurate.
*The .44 mag is one of those things that, if you were in a game, you'd unlock it later. It's something that's extremely rare, so you'd barely have ammunition for it. But it's still badass. I would pick the Smith and Wesson M29 revolver.
*For the .308 rifle, we choose the Springfield M1A Socom.
*For shotgun, we bring the Remington 870. Fairly common.
*As for melee weapon, there's a few different options.
--
The Walther P22 holds about 10 rounds stock. If you have good aim, you could use 2 shots per zombie, in order to stumble or trip them. that's only 5 zombies, but the .22 would only be for short runs, to get from one area to another.
So five P22 clips is a good 50 rounds, if the clips are loaded beforehand.
So, since .22 is the most common, carry maybe 2 pounds of .22 ammo.
If each .22 round is 1.9 grams, that's around 476 rounds..
For 2 pounds, I would say that's a great amount of ammunition.
So the .22 handgun stays, along with 5 clips, and 476 rounds, for around 4 pounds of weight.
With good accuracy, that's around 250 zombies that you've stumbled or killed, if you miss some of the time.
--
Beretta 92FS is our 9mm handgun. This one would be for more than just stumbling zombies. This one is for killing, or if you desperately need to switch pistols in case you can't reload. You'd most likely find a Glock if you were to loot a police station or gun store. The Glock is great, but a 92FS would most likely be a better choice.
More accurate.
Again, I'm going to assume you'd need two shots per zombie. If you were good, you could land a headshot on your first try.
However, you might need to shoot them in the chest to make them stand up or stumble in order to line up a better shot.
We're going to use the 15 round magazine.
Just to be safe, we'll just say that it takes 3 shots per zombie, in order to round off the kills per magazine to 5. Same as the P22. But, preferably, you'd be getting maybe up to 10 or more kills per mag if you have good accuracy.
Bringing 5 preloaded clips would be 75 rounds.
And we'll bring 3 pounds of ammo, instead of 2.
If each 9mm round is 7.45 grams, 3 pounds of ammunition would be around 182 bullets.
One 92FS, 5 full clips, 182 extra rounds, for around 6 pounds of weight.
If it takes 1 bullet to kill a zombie 50% of the time, and 2-3 per zombie for the other 50%, it rounds out to about 210 zombies.
--
Ah yes. The .44 mag. Go all Dirty Harry on these zombie bitches.
Smith and Wesson M29. Awwww yyyyeahhh.
So this is obviously one of those guns that isn't very common.
Or you'd run out of ammo very quickly.
So it's not the priority.
But hey.. You get to carry around a .44 mag and say one liners.
This is definitely a 1 kill per shot. Unless you really, really, really suck.
6 rounds per cylinder, with 5 preloaded speedloaders that you'd keep in a pocket or something.
Since it's so rare, we're going to say you can find 1.5 pounds of ammunition for it.
Each round weighing 13 grams, that's about 52 rounds. Not many, but remember this is an "in case of emergency" gun.
One .44 mag revolver, 5 preloaded speedloaders, 52 extra rounds, all for maybe 4 pounds.
So maybe 82 zombie kills.
--
Springfield M1A Socom. .308, semi-automatic rifle, 20 round magazine.
Not necessarily a super-rare rifle, but one that might be hard to get your hands on.
This is for if you're at a medium to long range, trying to pick off individual zombies, either covering your allies, or trying to clear out a small area say, in front of a door.
Preferably, you'd find maybe 2 pounds of .308 ammunition. Quite a bit, but you never know.
It's fairly common in gun stores, so hopefully you could stock up. Also, you wouldn't need to be using it constantly like a handgun.
Since magazines for this would be pretty hard to find, we'll say you have 2 magazines, preloaded.
2 pounds of .308 ammunition is around 93 bullets. Pretty good.
However, as our first rifle, it's kind of heavy. 9 pound rifle.
One rifle, 2 preloaded magazines, 93 extra rounds, all for around 11 or 12 pounds.
If 75% of the time you get a 1 shot, one kill, and the other 25% it takes 2 shots, that rounds out to around 117 kills.
--
Shotguns!
Woot!
Some of my favorite guns. I would love to say that I would carry an AA-12 with me, but I kind of doubt you'd be able to find one easily.
So we pick the Remington 870. Common shotgun.
So since, again, we wouldn't use this much, we're just going with 1 pound of ammunition.
Shotgun shells are easy to find, and are pretty much sold in any outdoor shop.
The gun itself seems to be around 7 and a half pounds. Pretty light, actually.
So about 1 pound of 12 gauge shells is around 21 shells.
Doesn't seem like a lot, but you can find 12 gauge everywhere.
And plus, with a shotgun, you'd only use it in close quarters, so maybe you could get 2 - 3 zombies with each shot.
So a 7 and a half pound shotgun along with 21 shells would be around 9 pounds.
If you get 2 zombies 80% of the time and 3 zombies 20% of the time, that will net you around 45 kills. That's obviously very lucky if you can consistently get more than one zombie in a spread.
--
Everyone always thinks "KATANA!" when you say zombie killing melee weapon, but in reality, they would start to be damaged after cutting through maybe 3 spines. I mean really. They look badass, but weren't really designed to constantly be cutting through bone. Maybe it'd be good to cut hamstrings or major tendons to inhibit the zombie, but as a killing weapon.. Not a good choice.
Same with the chainsaw.
Yes, you can cut through bone with it.
But do you really want to run around with a chainsaw, spraying blood so you can't see, trying to cut through multiple zombies?
Yes. I want to as well. But it just wouldn't work.
So as far as melee weapons go, I would have to pick combat knife for stabbing, then some sort of larger weapon. I would say fireaxe. Perfect for hacking at limbs, or even breaking down a door if you need to.
We'll pick a KA-BAR knife as our stabby-stabby toy.
As for a fire axe, we'll just say we're carrying a 6 lb fire axe.
So! Let's add all this stuff up.
Around 32 pounds of weaponry, including the knife and fire axe.
Around 9.5 poundsof ammunition.
If you're fairly accurate, and you used every single bullet, you'd net maybe around 704 zombie kills!
That's all pretty good.
32 pounds of weaponry is quite a bit. But the thing is, it wouldn't be as much backpacking as it would be trudging to one building to another.
If you had to go down a long road through the middle of nowhere, odds are, you'd have a group of people that could always split up the weight, especially since you'd be bringing cooking stuff, water, and some kind of shelter.
If you were lucky enough, you'd probably find some sort of vehicle. Which would make all this easier.
-------------------
Wow. I really got into that subject.
But that's fine. I love zombies. They're kind of awesome.
Teehee.
That was a long blog.
I had fun writing it.
It gave me something to focus on, and it made me very happy.
I'm now in a great mood (:
Don't forget to hit the little share button down there. If you like it, tell some friends about it!
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ld
Not much has happened today so far.
Woke up, ate food, then headed to class.
Made it to class 10 minutes early. Usually I'm 10 minutes late.
Winning!
I basically just did my biology lab and that was pretty much it..
Now I'm in Abnormal Psychology.
We're talking about PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
If I was looking at this extremely objectively and... Not very intelligently, I could diagnose myself with it.
More accurately, I could self-diagnose myself with acute stress disorder.
I know I actually should not be diagnosed with it, I just am displaying most of the symptoms.
Interesting!
Self-diagnosing is... Interesting.
Some people take their own diagnoses as truth, which is not very intelligent.
Unless you're a qualified expert in the field, you shouldn't really assume you're correct.
So I know I'm not self-diagnosing myself.
I just think it's interesting that I'm displaying symptoms similar to symptoms in post-traumatic stress disorder.
--------------------
I wrote a song.
Finally..
It's on Facebook. I don't really feel like putting it up here.
I just....
I don't know.
I had trouble even putting it on Facebook.
I'll probably delete it later.
I don't know how I feel right now.
I suppose I'm just extremely depressed.
Some stuff happened earlier this week that hit me really hard..
So I'm just currently feeling comatose.
I'm going through the motions that I do every day.
Doing this automatically.
I don't think about anything.
I'm just....
Comatose. That's the best way I can put it.
I'm having trouble remembering things.
I'm getting annoyed at extremely small things.
I'm getting upset over small things.
I'm scared of everything.
I just....
I just feel alone.
I know people say they're here for me, but I just don't really believe anyone right now.
I feel like everyone is lying to me, that people are telling me what I want to hear.
I don't feel like I trust anyone right now.
I don't want to deal with people.
I would gladly lock myself in a room with my drumset, music, and my laptop.
I'd block Facebook from myself.
Anyone else feel that way? People are stupid.
Meh.
I'm just feeling like this right now.
I'll feel the same way tomorrow probably.
But I'll find something more interesting to talk about.
You know when you're extremely depressed, you remind yourself that you've been here before, and you made it out?
You can tell yourself that you'll be fine.
You constantly are telling yourself, "You're fine! You've made it through this before! You can do it again!"
But you can't even believe yourself.
No matter what anyone tells you, you feel like you're drowning.
You feel empty..
Just plain empty.
I'm sorry this is so depressing.
I just.....
I don't know.
I just feel this way.
I hate feeling this way, but it's comforting.
I'm not used to being happy. It scares me.
I almost feel better when I'm depressed because I know how it feels. Because I know how it affects me.
Most of the time, I'd rather be depressed than happy, just because I feel so out of place when I'm happy.
What can I say? I'm a weird person.
--------------------
Let's see.. Something less depressing..
I wish I had funny stories!
My life is all-around pretty boring, especially on Tuesday or Thursdays.
Yesterday, I started working out, but I got into some conversations with people that I had to deal with, so I stopped.
Tonight, I have to do my ab workout along with some free weights.
I use 5-8 pound weights for my arm workout.
It's less of a work out, actually.
I use it to build lean muscle.
I don't want ripped, bulging muscles.
I'm working on just slowly building lean muscle by doing lots and lots of reps with smaller weights.
The ab thing shouldn't be too bad.
It's like 2 times a week.
Meh.
I hope I can get myself to work out tonight.
Ohhhh well.
If you want to, text me and remind me to work out tonight.
--------------------
Ahh memebase makes me happy.
When I'm upset, I just start browsing the site, and it generally helps a little. It's made me smile today (:
Which is good.
--------------------
When you have a friend that's depressed, don't make things worse.
I know that seems kind of obvious, but people still do it.
Not necessarily on purpose, but still.
If you want to be there for them, you have to ask what will make things worse, and what things will make them feel better.
I love getting ice cream with friends. It cheers me up.
Until I realize that I had ice cream. Then I feel fat.
But I think the positive outweighs the negative.
I love my friends.
A majority of them know how to help me, and they know what makes things worse.
I guess...
If you have a friend who's depressed, just be there for them! If they want time alone, if they don't want to talk to you, don't take it personally.
Maybe they're just fed up with people for the day.
So don't just give up on them.. That hurts them more than anything else.
--------------------
Some of you out there might need to see this..
So I'll say this stuff to you, and maybe it'll help with whatever you're going through (:
You're not alone.. You feel like you are.
You feel like no one cares.
But people do. People really do care about you.
I promise you that.
You just gotta work through your thoughts, think about stuff, and look around.
I know you'll find someone who cares about you, and they'll be here for you when no one else is.
--------------------
You can make it out of this situation.
It's tough.
It hurts. You don't want to keep going, you want to give up.
Things look easier if you could just give up.
But you don't have to give up.
Hang in there.
Everything looks shitty right now. Everything looks like it's stacked up against you.
That may be true. The odds may be against you.
But that doesn't mean you have to give up!
You can do this! I promise you..
You have to want it.
Find your motivation, find your goal, and stick to it (:
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You're beautiful.
You're amazing.
People may not see it.
But you are.
You may feel down on yourself, you may think no one wants you, but someone does.
You aren't ugly.
Okay?
You aren't! You feel like you are.. You don't feel like you're attractive to anyone.
Looking in the mirror hurts.. Doesn't it?
You don't like what you see, and you would kill to change... something about yourself.
But you don't have to.
You're beautiful just the way you are (:
(I was saying that before Bruno Mars was).
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Dude...
This sucks, doesn't it?
You don't wanna go through this.
Girls are confusing as hell.
Aren't they?
You don't feel like you did anything right.
Maybe you're wondering why she's not yours.
Why she's someone else's.
Don't get yourself down!
You may love her, you may want her.
But the truth is, you can't make her come back.
All you can do is wait.
I know that sucks.
You don't want to just wait.
Guys DO things. We don't just sit around.
But... You can't do something every time.
Your options are small.
You don't have many things you can do.
But.. Hang in there.
Just wait.
She might come around, she might not.
Maybe you don't like where you are in life.
You got time.
You can think about it.
Don't change everything over night.. Cause you can't.
We're tough.
We're rough.
Come on guys.. We can do this.
You can do this.
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Ah.. Girls...
He's dumb.
Maybe he moved on without you.
Maybe he lied to you.
Maybe he cheated on you.
Maybe he hurt you, then ditched you.
I don't know what he did.
But he did it. You can't change that..
You just can't.
But you can still hang in there.
I say "hang in there" a lot, but it's good advice.
You don't want to hear it, I know. I'm sorry.
But... It'll be worth it in the long run.
He hurt you? Forget him.
He's not worth your time.
Guys are stupid! We are. Believe me. I would know (I'm kind of a guy.. Just saying).
But don't let him ruin the way you look at men.
Not every single guy is an asshole like that other one.
We nice guys are out there.
We are!
You just....
You just have to be patient.
It hurts to wait for someone..
But look around.
Date people, but don't dive head in and devote your entire self into a relationship.
That's not smart.
Keep an open mind.. Look around, find out what you like, what you don't like..
There's a guy out there for you (:
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I'm not sure why I did that little pep talk thing.
I dunno.
I guess it's just......
I like helping people..
And I suppose, sometimes, there are just things that people need to hear to make them feel better.
So I hope that made someone's day (:
I hope I made you smile.
I wasn't just saying those.. I meant them. 100%.
So good luck everybody..
Hang in there!
Remember.. If you liked this, share it with some friends! It just takes a couple clicks at the bottom of the screen.. Click the little Facebook icon, then share it to your wall!
Thanks for reading, everybody.
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