I don't have much to say today.
Today was....
Rough.
It had it's ups and downs.
More downs than ups.
Definitely more bad parts.
I'm not complaining, I'm just.. Stating the facts.
In general, today was not a good day.
In fact, right now, I'm.... Not feeling good.
On the bright side, I held onto a happy mood for a good 5 hours.
Which I suppose was good.
Well, let's talk about my day!
I woke up on time.
That was good!
I woke up at the perfect time to get up, eat, then head out to class.
It was cold and windy when I woke up.
I ground my gears shifting from second to third.
That's.... An extremely bad omen to me. I'm being dead serious..
Every day that I miss a shift or grind my gears is a day that has turned out terrible.
So today, I should have seen that coming. I guess... I just had hoped that it was going to be a good day.
I sound like a drama queen! Geez!
But.. I'm blogging about it anyway.
Anyway.
Uhh...
Right.
It was cold, walking to class was bad. Windy, cold, and the earbuds kept getting blown out of my ears.
In the morning, I'm especially... Fragile. Emotionally and physically. And the fact that the wind kept blowing, kept denying me my music.... It wasn't good. It made me really upset.
It really really did. In the morning, people use coffee to wake up. I use music.
In fact, the music that I listen to when I wake up often sets the mood for half the day.
So I tried to listen to happy music! I really did! Didn't work. At all.
So I went with the flow and listened to my normal playlist.
Classes were.... Class.
Not exciting. Pretty boring. I guess... During my child psychology is where things started to fall apart.
I was..... I don't know.
It was the morning, it was cold, I was upset, it was a bad day, I was tired, I was stressed, I was worried.
It all decided to hit me at once.
So, about halfway through the lecture, my brain decided it would be a good time to give me a mental and emotional breakdown! Hooray!
I burst out crying. But the good news is, I've had it happen enough that I know how to hide it.
I always sit in the corner of the room, because.. I don't like being anywhere besides the corner.
I just don't like it. Everyone is staring at me, and people keep looking at me. So I sit in the corner.
So, I burst out crying. I pulled my sleeves up my arms like I always do, and I pulled my knees up and bit into my hand. Being in the corner, no one really noticed! Except for the girl next to me.
She looked at me weird.
So I sat there, tears running down my cheeks, curled up in a corner with my laptop.
I talked with a few friends, and I eventually stopped crying. So I wiped the tears off, and tried to calm down.
Didn't really work so well. So I sat in class, extremely upset and confused, and tried to pay attention.
I took notes, but I kept getting distracted. I checked earlier, and my notes all made sense! I accomplished something today!
I didn't have class for an hour, so I went and sat down to listen to some music.
Usually, I play games on my laptop during class. However, I've decided I need to stop. So I didn't bring the charger today. But I need something to do, so I brought my PSP. I play my PSP on my off-hours, then use the laptop during class. It works quite well, actually. So tomorrow I'll do the same.
But anyway. I sat and played my PSP for a bit, before I started crying again. So I went to the parking garage to go home.
Walking to the parking garage sucked. It was windy, I was upset, it was cold, the earbuds kept blowing out of my ears. I kept trying to listen to my much needed music to calm me down, but it was constantly interrupted. Which made things just... So much worse.
I drove home, and didn't grind gears or miss shifts. That was a blessing. I'm pretty sure at that point, if I had messed up, I would have started crying all over again! I tend to do that. I burst into tears at the drop of a hat.
So I drove home, then... Basically sat around the house the rest of the day. I read a little bit, I had a fruit smoothie, I watched a bunch of Dr. Who, I played some video games, I talked with friends..
I had a lot to do to distract myself. My mom convinced me to go work out, which ended up helping quite a bit. It's almost as if she KNOWS it would help. This is madness.
My phone stopped receiving texts earlier today, and I turned it off and on again and...
Get ALL the texts! So now it looks like I was ignoring people. Ugh.
I'm going to have to explain that when I wake up.
My mood didn't stay stable, but it had less... Depressing parts. Until now. Obviously.
I'm upset for SO many different reasons! And they all hurt. I hate it when that happens.
Living in the past, living in my memories... Getting my hopes up.. Seeing things that upset me..
Ugh... I just.. I don't know. I'm upset and lonely.
Right before bed is when everything gets worse. So I'm going to go to sleep!
Because I really don't want to be awake. So good night!
Today's blog was one of those when...
I feel like there's happy parts to talk about, but I just.. Eh. I want to go to sleep.
I just sit and talk about my day. So as usual, to those of you who read this shit, thank you.
Your support and daily views means a lot to me ( :
Good morning everyone, and have a good day!
-Nolan
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Top Five Songs of the Day
- Stupify by Disturbed
- Jamie All Over by Mayday Parade
- If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn by Sleeping With Sirens
- Sucker Punch by OneRepublic
- Somebody's Gonna Miss Us by Amber Pacific
Video Game of the Day
Resident Evil 4
Youtube Video of the Day
ZANGIEF KID
Picture(s) of the Day
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